Segways are for the lazy.
Bicycles are for the environmentally conscious.
Hybrids are for the economically insane.
Gas-guzzlers are for those who think everyone else must be environmentally conscious.
Unicycles are for clowns and show-offs.
Helicopters are for the obscenely rich.
Teleportation is for sci-fi nerds.
Tanks are how real men get around.
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