Captain America: The First Avenger

Or rather, Captain America: Where Can This Movie Possibly End?

Okay, so I really liked Joe Johnston's other comic-book superhero offering, The Rocketeer, alias The Most Underrated Superhero Film Ever Made.

This one, not so much.

See, the human eye is remarkably good at detecting fake stuff. Either that or Hollywood has lied to us for so long that we've gotten really good at it.  The basic idea is all right, but when Gollum!Steve is on the screen I just can't take it seriously.  In fact in basically every scene - including, weirdly, the final bits in modern-day New York - I'm always looking for some bit of conspicuous CGI that bugs me.

Also the notion that someone born without (x) is capable of inherently using (x) responsibly seems positively... questionable at best.  But that's not the biggest problem with this film.


There's some unwritten rule that says that it's not over until the fat lady sings the villain has been defeated. Right, because no good film has ever ended with the villain(s) still alive.

In fairness, I think Captain America did at least kill off the hero's love interest...

The fact of the matter is that the film basically had its arc once Captain America became a soldier and saved his buddy from the Red Skull's evil lab of evil, and everything after that was in there to sell a) more popcorn, and b) The Avengers.

That's really it. It was well-cast and mostly well-shot, and by that I mean it was shot in such a way so as to try and disguise the CGI elements and I appreciate the director's efforts. (I like his color pallet more than I like the film's script. Not saying much, but credit where its' due.) It also provided a lot of Hey It's That Guy fodder, with at least three Hunger Games alums or soon-to-be-alums running around. And the ending - no not the nonsensical bit with the fake hospital where the game will be up the moment Steve looks out the window, the part before with the plane crashing - was very, very well-done. But it dragged on well past the point where it would have ended were this a stand-alone film.

Oh, and Red Skull's record player apparently skips at one point from Act I of Die Walkure to Act III of Gotterdammerung. Go figure.

Final Grade: B-.

(Hail HYDRA)