I want to destroy the Universe.
Okay, there's a couple of good things. For example, "Get Captured" is, for once, not part of the villain's plan. Also... um...
Now, I'm certainly not going to claim that this is entirely director Alan Taylor's fault - although if Christopher Eccleston is right and scenes actually giving his character a proper motivation were left on the cutting room floor, then that's definitely Taylor's fault - but despite the (presumedly) bigger budget and larger scope of this film compared to Thor, this looks like a made-for-TV movie. Nothing pops the way it did back when Kenneth Branagh was behind the camera.
Now let's talk about who was wasted in this film. Eccleston's character exists solely to force Thor and Loki to team up - this is what happens when you make Loki so damn likeable, people. One of the Warriors Three basically sits the entire film out. And then there's Erik Selvig. Just... grr...
At one point it seems like the only reason Thor can get to Earth is because the Convergence is nigh, but then a) how did he get back to Earth for The Avengers (seriously is this question never going to be answered) and b) isn't Bifrost fixed? I thought Bifrost was fixed. They certainly have a new one, and it's the one thing in the entire film that looks better than it did in the previous one.
The climax. Dear God the climax. The portal effects (can I call them "Thortals") needed to... (angrish)... we needed some better visual clue as to where the portals were! That whole thing looked bloody ridiculous!
I can't. I'm done. Final grade: D
Why did the Circus turn into an insane asylum? (Okay, I walked right into that one.)
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