(More) Things I want in Mass Effect 4

No real news is forthcoming, but here's an update on my wishlist.

Thor: The Dark World

I want to destroy the Universe.

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 47) Eddard XIII: You Say You Want A Revolution

Previously on A Game of Thrones, a B-list character died. The clock is now running; how long will he remain the Most Important Dead Guy?

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 46) Daenerys V: Beggars Can’t Be Boozers

Previously on A Game of Thrones, Ned Stark made the least worst decision for the wrong reasons.

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 45) Eddard XII: A Family Affair

Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Sansa Stark had a no good rotten day, Ned Stark appeared to have a revelation, and Arya Stark appeared to develop a split personality. Only one of these things will be followed through in this chapter, and it's the one we all saw coming from 200 pages back.

Fortunately it's also the one that actually drives the frickin' plot. So there's that.

Actually, WTF is going on with Jaime Lannister?

One of my very favorite scenes in the entirety of A Song of Ice and Fire comes near the end of A Storm of Swords as Jaime presides over his first Kingsguard meeting as Lord Commander. I know a lot of this is going to get cut out, because Oswhoever* Kettleblack, Boros Blount and Balon Swann have never been introduced.  I'm okay with that.

*As with the Manderleys, I can't be bothered to keep characters belonging to the same family separate when all their names begin with the same letter or two. And don't get me started on Harzoo.

What I was really looking forward to, though, was Jaime's confrontation with the Knight of Pansies Flowers. It's a scene where Jaime basically realizes that Loras Tyrell is a younger version of him, pre-Kingslaying.

Thing is, a lot of that has been tied up in stuff that hasn't happened in the show.

GoT 4.03: Breaker of Chains

Not a review. Just some observations.

SPLOILERS

Captain America: The First Avenger

Or rather, Captain America: Where Can This Movie Possibly End?

Okay, so I really liked Joe Johnston's other comic-book superhero offering, The Rocketeer, alias The Most Underrated Superhero Film Ever Made.

This one, not so much.

See, the human eye is remarkably good at detecting fake stuff. Either that or Hollywood has lied to us for so long that we've gotten really good at it.  The basic idea is all right, but when Gollum!Steve is on the screen I just can't take it seriously.  In fact in basically every scene - including, weirdly, the final bits in modern-day New York - I'm always looking for some bit of conspicuous CGI that bugs me.

Also the notion that someone born without (x) is capable of inherently using (x) responsibly seems positively... questionable at best.  But that's not the biggest problem with this film.

I enjoyed the Hunger Games novels, but

 I suspect I'd have enjoyed them more if the author hadn't resorted to "baby-naming." What do I mean by that? Giving things the sort of names a ten-year-old would come up with, either because they can't remember the whole word ("propos" for propaganda) or because it sounds cleverer than it is ("tracker jackers").

This is a series about teenagers murdering each other. We don't call any weapon the Huggerlove 9000, do we?

...okay, unless you're Husky.

And the award for Most Misleading Headline In A Non-Political Context goes to these guys.

"Taking a break" is not the same as "leaving."

"Leaving the band" suggests he's gone for good. I refuse to contemplate AC/DC continuing on without Malcolm Young. While Angus Young and Brian Johnson are far more public - the faces of the band, if you will - it's Malcolm's band. 

Hell, even Thin Lizzy decided to change its name to Black Star Riders when they decided to do a new album decades after Phil Lynott's death.

AC/DC rumor update (updated)

Update:
From the group's facebook page:

After forty years of life dedicated to AC/DC, guitarist and founding member Malcolm Young is taking a break from the band due to ill health. Malcolm would like to thank the group’s diehard legions of fans worldwide for their never-ending love and support.
In light of this news, AC/DC asks that Malcolm and his family’s privacy be respected during this time. The band will continue to make music.

Uh, okay, so this is more ambiguous but still positive.  "Taking a break" suggests a hiatus, and "will continue to make music" suggests a return.  

At this point I will be a bit upset at the band's PR person if they turn around and tell us later that, yeah, it's over.  While I don't expect them to make such a decision hastily, I can't imagine they don't have a prognosis by now.

The way this release is worded, I doubt we'll actually see (hear) someone else play rhythm guitar on a forthcoming album... I could see a situation where the rest of the band goes into the studio and does their thing, with Angus laying down temporary rhythm tracks, and Malcolm coming in if/when he recovers. 

Also, a reminder that Malcolm skipped the 1988 tour in support of Blow Up Your Video. (He was temporarily replaced by his nephew.)  I'd be kind of surprised if they did an anniversary tour without him, but at the same time I wouldn't rule it out; in fact, because I can't imagine someone else doing the rhythm tracks on a studio album, I have to imagine that this scenario is what the release is hinting at.

Original:
Frontman Brian Johnson: reports of our demise are greatly exaggerated.

He also confirmed that one member of the band has been having health problems, but not severe enough to preclude any possibility of a future album.

So there's that.

While I have the utmost sympathy, I can't understand why a) they let the rumor run for at least a full day, b) why they're feeding speculation rather than just coming out and saying what's up. I get that they want some privacy, but I doubt that's actually going to happen.

And now a word on the AC/DC rumor

I KNOW NOTHING (Jon Snow), so don't presume this is going to change anything.

Basically there are two parts to the rumor.

1. AC/DC are retiring, because
2. One member (probably rhythm guitarist Malcolm Young) is very (maybe terminally) ill

Now, #2 is more serious than #1, so I certainly hope that's not true. If it is, then my prayers are with him and his family. Discussion of #1 below the fold.

Oh, another reason I liked Thor to the degree that I might - might - just be willing to call it the best g*dd*mn superhero movie ever made was because its politics weren't really shoehorned in there. I just stopped and said "what" when I was watching The Avengers and all the heroes were upset because Samuel L. Jackson was making weapons. Because it's okay for Tony Stark to have an Iron Man suit, but woe betide the United States whenever he has a hangover. (And I know Joss Whedon has a hangup about guns from how they're treated on Buffy, but they're how us mortals like to protect ourselves, thanks very much.)

Thor didn't bother trying to pull any of that crap on us.  The Ice Giants that Thor protects at the end were by no means innocent, but there was a peace, one that Loki spent the entire film trying to undo, and one that the Ice Giant leadership didn't seem to have an interest in breaking (until Loki appeared to hand them victory on a silver platter, at any rate).  Thor saving the Ice Giants was less a political message and more a necessary part of his character arc, and I'm not going to dispute the notion that peace is a worthy goal.

Thor

Hey, remember what I said about The Rocketeer? It never took itself too seriously, it was mostly lighthearted fun, it was a great retelling of a story type that's been done to death? Good, then I don't really need to say much more about

But I will anyway.

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 44) Sansa III: He’s Not The Price, He’s Just a Very Naughty Boy

Previously on my life, my other computer couldn't be bothered to import my passwords from Firefox to Chrome like I told it to. I threw it into the sea in an act of rage.

Previously on my life, I got into all the classes I wanted next semester, and by that I mean I have a schedule that never goes past 4 p.m. and doesn't involve me setting foot on campus on Fridays. Tremble in awe, ye mortals.

Previously on my life, I got an oil change. My heavenly chariot has once again attained Asgardian standards of ludicrous awesomitude.

(Previously on my life, I saw the movie Thor, finally.  Here is my two-word review of that: "(smash) ANOTHER!")

Okay. I think I've gotten into a mindset self-centered enough to (paradoxically) empathize with Sansa here, so here we go.

(Ahem.) Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Sansa Stark had the worst Bring Your Daughter To Court Day, Like, Ever.  There wasn't even a pony or anything, just a bunch of homeless bums whining about how her dreamy prince's grandfather had pillaged and burned all that they held dear. Man, they should go get real jobs or something.

I don't have HBO Go, so I'm watching On Her Majesty's Secret Service again.

Oh, come on, having Diana Rigg play the Queen of Thorns is the greatest casting gag of all time and I'm going to squeeze all the mileage I have out of it.

Ah yes, "Weekend Songs"

Because f*ck Tuesday.

Original:

Stevie Ray Vaughan:

Barack Obama:

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 43) Eddard XI: Let’s Kill All the Lawyers

Previously on A Blog of Thrones, neither Tyrion nor Tywin were capable of making any sense. (Quite an accomplishment in the latter's case seeing as he hasn't appeared "on-screen" yet.) Also, Bronn. Now, you might have noticed that my tone has become more negative in these recent postings, but in my defense it's been ten chapters since Arya was a POV character.

James Reviews: Marvel's The Avengers

Joss Whedon has had a lot of luck/skill (although it's diminished in recent years) getting awesome television shows made. However, his one film prior to this one was essentially a flop, and it's thus rather surprising to me that he got to direct

Let me explain what I mean by that.  Serenity was a film with a pre-established cast who already know each other, who team up to fight an oddly-compelling villain even though most of them end up being cannon fodder, because it's really down to one guy at the end.  Take out the "already know each other" part and that's The Avengers.  Or possibly Marvel's The Avengers, which I feel compelled to call it in order to distinguish it from that show with the spy chick who beat up bad guys while wearing a skintight outfit.

I don't know why I bother trying, though.

Anyway, the film itself is... well, it's not perfect, and a surprising amount of the flaws seem to come in at the script phase.  Joss got his start as a script doctor, patching up other people's messes into something workable (including the original Toy Story(!)), so it's surprising to me that a basically solid concept - a bunch of superheroes come together into a genuine team - had such a muddled execution.

Evolving StarCraft meta

I don't claim to be a pro gamer or anything (cuz I'm not), but I do like the game of StarCraft.  It seems like only the pros can play super greedy - why, because their micro is fantastic?  That would make sense only if there were an exceedingly high threshold for micro being useful.

Today's random Diablo shout out

is to... Snatch??!?

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 42) Tyrion VI: I’m a Lannister… Get Me Out of Here

Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Jon Snow weakened the Night's Watch while simultaneously appearing to inflate its numbers (and be a good person). Boy could be a politician.

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 41) Jon V: Pardon the Pork

Pork, in this case, referring both to Ser Piggy AKA Samwisewell AKA Millstone II, (as in, "Pardon Sam for being fat and useless, but I'm a leader yo and I need minions, so please keep him on pretty pretty please"), but also to the bloat in appropriations bills that has no business being there (as in "Pardon this scene, which is so useless and unnecessary that you could cut it from a television adaptation and nobody would care.  Except this guy.")

Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Catelyn's genius plot blew up entirely predictably in her face. Also, Bronn.

Source

Guy wins the internet.

And if you don't get the irony... 1) read the books, 2) watch OHMSS now.

Hypothesis: the ten-episode season is an artificial construct that will ultimately work to the detriment of Game of Thrones

To put it another way - and note that I can't back any of this up until we actually see Season 4 - I think A Storm of Swords would have been much better served by (say) seven episodes leading up to the Red Wedding, a mid-season break, and then (say) five more episodes in the fall.

Better late than never: my Game of Thrones Season 4 predictions

Quite a few, sorted alphabetically by character below the fold. I expect a supremely ambitious season because a) I don't want to see them progress at a measly rate of 40 pages an episode (they averaged 100 in Seasons 1 and 2), and b) GRRM has recently expressed increased concern that the show may catch him.

SPLOILERS, obviously

No, seriously, SPLOILERS. I have read the books and so everything that I mention below will happen, it's just a question of whether this happens this season.

So, once again, SPLOILERS.

If you're still there, let us continue...

Spynal Tapp

Found this in Diablo.

Having given it more thought, here are 10 essential film/tv/videogame themes.

1.      Raiders’ March (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

2.      On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (Main Title)

3.      Suicide Mission (Mass Effect 2)

4.      Prelude to War (Battlestar Galactica: Season 2)

5.      A Lannister Always Pays His Debts (Game of Thrones: Season 3)

6.      Star Trek: First Contact (Main Title)

7.      The Imperial March (The Empire Strikes Back)

8.      Terminator 2 (Main Title)

9.      The Ecstasy of Gold (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)

10.  Batman (Main Title – 1989)

Here's a crazy post about a crazy film.

This film, to be precise:

I can't think of a more appropriate topic for an April Fool's Day post...

So, first off, Holy Cinematographer's Wet Dream, Batman.  Zack Snyder makes Sam Mendes look like John Glen. (Explanation of that metaphor: Mendes gave us the stunningly beautiful Skyfall; Glen might be the flattest, most uninteresting director the Bond franchise ever had... but three of Glen's five Bond films were better than Skyfall, so stunning cinematography isn't everything.)

And I would also like to point out that the Classic Rock Snob in me actually enjoyed the covers of "White Rabbit," "Sweet Dreams," "Search and Destroy," and especially "Tomorrow Never Knows." (That said, what was done to Queen was unforgivable.)

I also agree with Snyder's decision to take his sweet time showing us a particular face at the end of the film...

Okay, on to the whole what? And huh?

Not with respect to what happened. I got that. Snyder tried to fake me out by making it look like he was pulling an Owl Creek Bridge, but it's pretty clear by the end of the film what really did and did not happen, at least with respect to the most important characters. Rather, by what and huh, I mean that what I think the message Sucker Punch was trying to tell got a little bit distorted in the telling.

(This is, by the way, just me spewing thoughts out on the page here.  I don't have a specific conclusion in mind. Or in other words, you'll have to forgive it because it's quite raw.)

 The film is evidently (theoretically) to sexual objectification what Starship Troopers was (theoretically) to militarism. I have an easier time believing Starship Troopers was a parody.  Sucker Punch's most visually arresting (read: watchable; the asylum/bordello stuff is yawn-inducing the second time 'round) bits take place entirely in the minds of mentally unstable young women whose fantasies evidently involve them kicking butt in skimpy clothing.  (I could be interpreting the fantasy "layers" wrong, but it was my understanding that the bordello was more or less Blue's interpretation and the WWI/Castle/Hovertrain bits were Babydoll's; the inverse actually makes more sense if Snyder's point is "you're a bastard for objectifying these girls the way Blue does.")

I'm also not entirely of the opinion that the final scene with the High Roller (only available on the Blu-Ray or YouTube) was as necessary as people seem to think.  And the fact that Snyder has had to explain so much of the film in interviews and so on rather than in the film itself speaks at least to some degree of the film's failure incoherence opacity.

I should get this out of the way now: I liked this film. The rest of this post is me trying to work through things I didn't get.

Okay, SPLOILERS from here on out...