After Angel, Cordelia and Wesley skip town at the end of Buffy Season 3, it can be difficult to follow the plot back and forth between the two shows. This gets worse after Buffy moves over to UPN, home of the legendarily awful Star Trek Voyager for its legendarily awful final two seasons, because suddenly the episodes don't bounce neatly back and forth. And you can't even go by air dates, because a crossover between Buffy s7 and Angel s4 was screwed up by a little thing called the Iraq War.
Now, to save the eject tray on your DVD player some wear and tear (because y'all still use those, right?) I've put together a list of the Buffy and Angel episodes you need some context from the other show to fully enjoy.
(Note: I'll abbreviate the series' titles in the episode numbers. So B4.03 means Buffy Season 4 Episode 3, and A1.03 means Angel Season 1 Episode 3)
B4.03 "The Harsh Light of Day" -> A1.03 "In the Dark"
Buffy sends Oz to deliver a package to Angel for safekeeping. Spike follows in the hopes of stealing it for himself. Oz and Spike both return to Sunnydale afterwards.
A1.07 "Bachelor Party" -> B4.08 "Pangs" -> A1.08 "I Will Remember You"
Angel gets a warning about Buffy and returns to Sunnydale, interacting with the entire cast minus her. When she finds out about it she follows him to L.A. to ask him why he didn't bother saying hi.
B4.16 "Who Are You" -> A1.18 "Five By Five"
Faith flees Sunnydale and takes a contract on Angel's life (undeath?).
A1.19 "Sanctuary" -> B4.20 "The Yoko Factor"
Buffy chases Faith to L.A. and gets into another fight with Angel. Faith ends up in prison for just shy of three years. Angel follows Buffy back to Sunnydale and gets into another fight with her.
A1.22 "To Shanshu in L.A."
Darla is resurrected. Buffy's gang won't find out for half a season, though.
B5.07 "Fool For Love" -> A2.07 "Darla"
Multiple flashbacks to Angel and Spike's glory days, Rashomon-style. No actual crossover, but each episode's flashbacks helps fill in the other one's gaps.
A2.11 "Redefinition" -> B5.14 "Crush"
Drusilla finishes up a stint on Angel and moves back to Sunnydale. Darla's resurrection is mentioned on Buffy for the first time.
B5.14 "Crush" -> A2.17 "Disharmony"
Harmony leaves Sunnydale for L.A.
B5.15 "Forever"
There's no corresponding scene in Angel, but Angel shows up to comfort Buffy through a family crisis.
B5.22 "The Gift" -> A2.22 "There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb"
Willow visits L.A. and gives Angel the bad news that he and his ex are no longer on the same channel.
A3.04 "Carpe Noctem" -> B6.04 "Flooded" -> B6.05 "Life Serial" / A3.05 "Fredless"
Angel and Buffy leave for an "intense" offscreen rendezvous and then return to their own shows without actually sharing any screen-time.
A4.13 "Salvage"
Faith breaks out of prison after Angel loses his soul again. Angelus calls the Summers home after hearing that the Slayer is in town, in order to determine whether it's Buffy or Faith hunting him. There's no corresponding scene in Buffy.
B7.17 "Lies My Parents Told Me" -> A4.15 "Orpheus" -> B7.18 "Dirty Girls"
Willow gets a call from "some effeminate-sounding guy named Fred" who tells her to come to L.A. She leaves without telling Buffy why, re-ensouls Angel (again) and goes back to Sunnydale with Faith in tow. (B7.17 was preempted by the invasion of Iraq and shown after A4.15. Oops.)
A4.22 "Home" -> B7.21 "End of Days"
Angel is given the All-Solving Amulet, to give to Buffy because the Buffy writers dropped the ball on coming up with their own Deus Ex Machina (which is odd because it was Angel that was more at the mercy of behind-the-scenes shenanigans this year).
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