Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Can Neil Gaiman restore the Cybermen to their former glory?

Asks io9.

The answer is, "is zero a number?"

Let me break this down real quick: every single Cyberman story ever with the exception of The Invasion for reasons I'll get to momentarily sucked.

The closest any Cyberman story aside from The Invasion came to being good was Tomb of the Cybermen, which was good for two episodes before it completely fell apart. You know, right when the Cybermen finally actually appeared and started talking, and you discovered that, as clever as their trap was, it was a really stupid trap disguised as a really clever trap. To break down the three stupidest elements of this trap really quickly...

1) The idea of the logic games to get into the tombs is to weed out the stupid people so that the smart ones can be upgraded into Cybermen. But the only person the Cybermen ever upgrade is Toberman, the dumb muscle. So... why did they make it so hard for dumb people to get there? They obviously could use dumb people as cannon fodder...

2) The Cybermen very politely leave a Cyberman-killing gun lying around upstairs for the humans to find.

3) The tombs are downstairs. The revitalizing unit is upstairs. There's a giant hatch between the two levels that can only be opened from upstairs.

And really every Cyberman story except for The Invasion is about as stupid as that one. The Invasion works for the exact same reason that Genesis of the Daleks works. The familiar monsters are relegated to the background, and a far more interesting villain is allowed to steal the spotlight.

And Moffat's quote disturbs me too. The Cybermen were almost never presented as an "awesome military force." The Moonbase featured a tiny strike force. Tombs featured the last remnants of a defeated civilization. Both Revenge of the Cybermen and Earthshock saw the... last remnants of a defeated civilization try one last time to get revenge. Furthermore, the scariest thing about them was not that "they could be right behind you without you knowing it," but that you could be turned into one of them.

Three years ago I couldn't imagine myself asking this, but does Moffat even understand Doctor Who?

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