Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Ned Stark wanted revenge while Robert Baratheon was the voice of reason. Yes, really. Today, Catelyn continues screwing up, so at least some semblance of normalcy has returned.
We open with a history lesson about a woman who's been dead for six thousand years. There's this gigantic waterfall up in the mountains that turns to mist before it hits the ground. It's called Alyssa's Tears because apparently Alyssa was a spiteful wench who couldn't be bothered to cry for any of the very many family members who predeceased her, and Catelyn finds herself wondering "how large a waterfall her own tears would make when she died," and I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE GEORGE.
The Kingslayer is raising an army, and the Riverlands folks are treating this like a proper threat. The problem is, Edmure Tully is, um, not the Lord of the Riverlands. That would be his and Catelyn's father, Hoster, who is dying. Catelyn plans to return to Winterfell to call the banners (brilliant) as soon as "her prisoner" has been dealt with. I get the sense she calls Tyrion "my prisoner" more to reassure herself than for any other reason, and it's still unconvincing.
Brynden Tully has had enough of this nonsense and is leaving. Catelyn suggests he stick around so that they can walk out together, more dramatic-like, once the Tyrion business is settled.
The trial is to be held in a courtyard that was supposed to be a godswood, but no weirwood would take root there. (This prompts me to flip back to Catelyn's first chapter to affirm that, yes, "godswood" is where First Men worship and septs are where Andals worship. I knew that. I was having a moment of stupid.)
One of Lysa's favored suitors of the day is gay. So much for Tywin's insistence that you have to make a baby to ensure your claim is valid two books from now.
Catelyn notes that Lysa named Cersei as Jon Arryn's killer back when she sent that letter to Winterfell, but now she's insisting it's Tyrion. Catelyn being Catelyn, she fails to make any use whatsoever of this information. Speaking of information, the local Maester informs Catelyn that Robert Arryn was to be fostered at Dragonstone before Jon Arryn died. More Arryn/Stannis shenanigans!
Show-watchers might like to note that Bronn is supposed to be about 15 years younger than Ser Vardis. YOU RUINED IT FOREVER!
Catelyn has a flashback to the Littleprick/Brandon Stark duel. No, that's not significant or anything. Absolutely justified in cutting that out of the show, ya hacks.
Bronn wins the duel, and Lysa kicks him and Tyrion out of the Eyrie to die on the high road. Why didn't Roslin try that on BSG? "Okay, Baltar, you've been found innocent, but we're still kicking you out of the fleet... airlock's that way."
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