Something troubles me.
"Only the one thing?" I can hear you ask, Steve. (I don't care if that's not your name; it is now.) "Surely there are other things. Lack of bees/guns/pr0n/beer/morals, for starters. How about That Thing The President Barack Obama did or did not do? Or the latest modern "rock" "band" to utterly rape a classic? Or the cavalier use of the word 'rape' in the previous question?"
In order: No/what/no - this is the internet and that's what it's for/meh/can't miss what you never had; what thing? you'll have to be more specific; don't listen to modern "music;" and you asked that just so I could anger a feminist, didn't you?
No. What troubles me, yes, Steve, aside from the fundamental concept of Man's Inhumanity To Man, is that at this early date, neither "mastermind's" plan really makes that much sense. Littlefinger wants Ned dead, yeah, I get that, but this has required him to throw in his lot with The Political Genius Cersei Lannister. How in the seven hells does he know for certain that Stannis won't sack King's Landing? (He can't really expect mercy from Stannis Frickin' Baratheon, can he?) How does he know the Dornishmen won't step in and shove a knife in Team Lannister's collective backside while he's still associated with them?
Varys's plan, of course, don't make a lick of sense no matter which way you slice it, unless the whole diversion with the Dothraki was to knock off that impertinent twit Viserys. Nevertheless, one wonders if letting a situation foster wherein several chunks of the Seven Kingdoms are under martial law and large standing armies are raised is really the best way to lay the groundwork for a successful invasion.
Anyway, that's only really with the benefit of hindsight. On to this chapter.
Events happen in real time. Except, you know, I'm a slow reader. Also, I'm typing as I go.
Eddard Stark is rotting in a cell in Alcatraz. At least there aren't Dementors. Presumably he's only being kept alive because Joffrey wants to waterboard him at some point down the road.
Stark rages impotently against everyone, including himself. He does not, alas, build a power suit out of a box of scraps. Instead he starts thinking about the political situation. Stannis and Renly are raising armies, as is Catelyn, and when his other lackeys get back from murdering Ser Gregor (yeah, right) they'll return to King's Landing and, what, fight all the gold cloaks? He has a dream about Robert, or possibly Littlefinger, who asks him "Will honor save your children?" The answer is, of course, haha no. (Apparently Being A Useless Cripple And Turning Into A Tree will "save" one of them, but honor certainly won't.)
Also, Catelyn is going to raise armies both in the North and in the Vale? For a guy who was apparently very good friends with Jon Arryn, Ned doesn't seem to have the faintest idea how unhinged the guy's wife is.
After a gaoler gives him a drink, Ned starts remembering that one time at a tourney Rhaegar Targaryen dropped the queen of beauty's laurel in Lyanna's lap. Then he flashes forward to Lyanna's death and the whole Promise me, Ned thing. Whatever could it mean? Some people (hi) remained obstinately obtuse even by this late point. (I remember I finished the book at a family party that may or may not have been Thanksgiving 2012; I put it down, and then five minutes later exclaimed "By the light of the Seven I know who Jon Snow's parents are!" This outburst confused many people, mostly the part about me claiming to know anything.)
Varys shows up and claims that he wanted to keep Robert Baratheon alive. This I can kinda believe. After all, a drunken oaf is the second-best thing to have on the throne when you're trying to launch a coup (the best thing would be an hysterical tyrant who fears every shadow - in other words, Aerys II). Varys chides Ned, saying exactly what's on every reader's mind: namely, that he was a huge blimmin' idjit for telling Cersei what he knew. It was honor that compelled him to do it, y'see.
Anyway, Varys says that Cersei had Robert killed (basically) and then tells him that soon the Queen will visit him and ask a favor.
"You want me to serve the woman who murdered my king, butchered my men, and crippled my son?"Yeah, can't argue, Ned. I think Varys kinda knows this tack isn't going to work, which, again, makes me wonder whether Varys actually wants Ned to take the deal. Ned, of course, shoves it all back. Honor again, y'see. It's only the threat to Sansa's life that gives him pause.
Well, ’tis no matter. Honour pricks me on. Yea, but how if honor prick me off when I come on? How then? Can honor set to a leg? no. Or an arm? no. Or take away the grief of a wound? No. Honor hath no skill in surgery, then? No. What is honor? A word. What is in that word “honor”? What is that “honor”? Air. A trim reckoning. Who hath it? He that died o' Wednesday. Doth he feel it? No. Doth he hear it? No. 'Tis insensible, then? Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living? No. Why? Detraction will not suffer it. Therefore, I’ll none of it. Honor is a mere scutcheon. And so ends my catechism.
Ta-ta.
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