Previously on A Blog of Thrones, we met the Lannister patriarch, talked about hair, and posted a picture of Daniel Craig for clickbait.
Rather appropriate for a chapter reviewed on the first day of a new Congress, this chapter sees the first day of King Joffrey's court. We have early cameos for Ser Dontos and Ser Balon Swann. Cersei is introduced with "Light of the West" among her titles. I don't remember that one at all.
Heeeeeey, waitaminit. The biggest "Light" I can think of is the sun. And in the West, the sun is setting. Nerp nerp. Deliberate? Who knows.
Joffrey climbs the steps of the Iron Throne two at a time (tall kid). When he reaches the top, his eye catches Sansa's. Really? It's not abundantly clear where in the hall Sansa is, but George's Iron Throne is freaking huge. Is his eye actually catching hers, or is this just more teenage girl projection?
A bunch of people are commanded to show up and bend the knee to King Joffrey or else lose their lands. Stannis, the Tyrells, the Martells, the Starks, and all their vassals are kind of the important ones. Tywin Lannister is now Hand, and Cersei apparently gets Stannis's seat on the Small Council regardless of whether Stannis kneels or not. Janos Slynt is given Harrenhal, also regardless of whether its current occupant bends the knee or not. This seems a curious stick - we'll take your titles/lands unless you bend the knee, but we'll take them anyway if we really want to.
Oh, right. King.
Because being King means you get to make stupid, stupid political choices, like [redacted - not the political blog] and also removing Ser Barristan Selmy from the Kingsguard. The official reason being that he's too old - balderdash! He's 63. Now, I grant that that's six years older than Roger Moore was when he did his last Bond film, but check out his fight scene in A Diversion with Doldrums and tell me the guy's past it.
Besides, dude resigns like a boss.
"Melt my sword down and add it to the throne, you sniveling pile of shit," he basically says, "you're just keeping it warm for Stannis." And then he walks out of the throne room before anybody can stop him.
Then Joffrey names the Hound to the Kingsguard, and the Hound says he don't need no steenking vows. And the other Kingsguard just shut up and take it. Because aside from Selmy, they all suck.
Also, so there's never been a Kingsguard from the North? I assume that's the case, since there aren't really that many northern knights. (Northern lights, though... and also northern wights, but that's a different chapter.)
Then it is time for Sansa to prostrate herself and ask mercy for her father. (Hey, ask Stannis or the former lady of Harrenhal what it's like dealing with these people when they don't trust you.)
Sansa admits that Eddard must be punished, but asks for mercy. That's... not smart. On top of that, Joffrey says that Eddard must repent his "crime" first, and that's rather unlikely... isn't it?
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