"Deep Breath" and "Into The Dalek" mini-Who Reviews

Before I begin, I want to make one thing clear:

Steven Moffat is full of himself.

There, now that that's out of the way, we can talk about Peter Capaldi's first two episodes as The Best Doctor Who Ever.

...you know, aside from [insert all your other favorites here], and Patrick Troughton.


"Deep Breath" takes place in Victorian London, which means we get to drag out Comedy Lizardwoman Vastra, Comedy Lesbian Jenny, and Comedy Warmonger Strax again. (That's harsh: I actually love these guys, but I want to make a point.) Just in case you were worried that there might be a smidgen of originality somewhere in this episode, we also have a fake-looking dinosaur wandering around London (T. rexes were not that tall, for starters) and the clockwork robots from GO SEE THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE AGAIN some episode that aired a while ago that might have been written by the current showrunner GO SEE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE AGAIN.

Let's just do a quick little rundown here:

1. William Hartnell's first serial was the first serial of the show, so there wasn't a threat of a repeat villain.
2. Patrick Troughton went up against the Daleks in an episode penned by David Whittaker, who had written for the series before, but never a Dalek story.
3. Jon Pertwee's debut was also the first serial to feature the Nestenes/Autons
4. Tom Baker's debut had a random giant robot
5. Peter Davison's debut featured the Master in a serial written by Christopher Bidmead, who also wrote the previous Master serial.
6. Colin Baker's debut featured... you know what, I'm just not going there.
7. Sylvester McCoy's debut featured the Rani in a serial written by Pip and Jane Baker, who wrote the previous Rani serial.
8. Also not touching this one.
9. Christopher Eccleston's debut featured the return of the Nestenes, but was written by RTD.
10. David Tennant's debut featured the Evil Santas and the Caliban or some such. (Props if you get that joke.) They hadn't appeared previously.
11. Matt Smith's debut featured the eyeball guys. They also hadn't appeared previously.

So, as we see, the pedigree is not good. While I might personally like some of the concepts of Castrovalva I'm not going to highlight it as a high point of the series, and while I might like... no, I just don't like Time and the Rani, period. It is fair to say that, at the end of everything, having a Doctor debut while the writer writes for a villain he's previously written for is Not Good.

Which might not be a problem if not for GO SEE THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE AGAIN the curious insistence Moffat places on GO SEE THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE AGAIN using "that first appearance of the clockwork droids, what ever could the title be, who ever could have written it" as the main proof of the Doctor's ongoing amnesia.

It makes me wonder if, had he cast a woman as the Doctor as all the fanboys apparently crave(d), he wouldn't have spent the entire episode smugly patting himself on the back. And arranging a Doctor/Clara/Vastra/Jenny lesbian foursome.

Okay, so at this point you're perhaps wondering what I think about Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. First of all, I can only understand about every other word he says, so I must rely on his overly-hysterical performance. It is, to be sure, entertaining.

...I have to say, I don't really know where this whole "regeneration trauma" thing came from. Troughton didn't have it... or rather, he had it for maybe five minutes and then got over it. Pertwee had an episode-long whammy and was basically fine after that. And so on. Something that neither RTD nor Moffat gets, apparently, is that in Ye Olde Days you could do that because that episode was only one-quarter or one-sixth of the story. See, I'm of the opinion that a Doctor's first story should establish the Doctor's character, and the more time they waste on the "regeneration trauma" tosh the less time they have for that.

The other thing is that a huge kerfuffle is made about the Doctor's age. (It's telling that The Fanboys were all set for a girl Doctor but couldn't fathom the concept of an old Doctor; including Capaldi, the average starting age of all Doctors Who is 42.) Yeah, great, tear down that fourth wall. Seems to undermine Capaldi a bit, calling attention to a perceived weakness before he has the chance to get going.

Anyway, Moffat's done two different types of staring contests, so now he expands his pallet a bit and has it so the clockwork droids can't find you if you hold your breath. They have eyes.

Okay, okay, what did I like, then? The scene at the end where the Doctor maybe-talks maybe-pushes the main baddie to his death. The writing and Capaldi's performance are convincing enough that that could have gone either way. That whole scene in general is great, especially the bit with the mirror tray. I also liked the gag with Jenny posing for what turns out to be no reason whatsoever, and the joke about having a criminal "for dinner."

I didn't think it was terrible, and I certainly think that Capaldi had a better debut than, say, David Tennant, but it was by no means great.

"Into the Dalek" on the other hand, is a crock of crap.

"Can Steven Moffat make the Daleks scary again?" No. No, he can't. Ridley Frickin' Scott would have a hard time making the Daleks scary again. (Deliciously amusing fact: Scott was the original production designer for the first Dalek serial, but dropped out and was replaced before he did anything. How's that fer yer postwar Commie conspiracy, Mandrake?) Anyway, Ridley Scott is the guy who brought us Alien. Steven Moffat is the guy who brought us the Technicolor Daleks.

So they've found a Dalek, and it's damaged, and therefore good. They decide to fix it, promptly a) turning it evil again, and b) making everyone question why they bothered trying to fix it. This episode was written by two different people. Go on, spot the join, everyone.

At the end the Dalek basically tells the Doctor he would be a good Dalek. This is exactly what the Dalek said in, um, "Dalek." In other words, the Doctor's gone nowhere in eight years.

Also, the Doctor flat-out refuses to let a soldier onto the TARDIS. A) so nevermind the Brig, then, yeah? And B) What does that say, oh enlightened askers of the "what does twelve white dudes playing the Doctor say to women and POCs" question, to all the people who put their lives on the line to ensure that Steven Moffat and the Beeb remain free to transmit rubbish like this into our homes?

Also, the inside of the Dalek looks just like every other frickin' set. And is too tall/thin to possibly be the inside of a Dalek.

And, come on guys, two Game of Thrones cameos in a row?