A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 53) Bran VI: Something’s wrong with Robb’s leadership style, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

With the irritating repetition and tedious inevitability of a stupid commercial on YouTube, it is time yet again for a Bran chapter. I've got my sinuses all bogged up so I can't smell the stench of self-loathing. On the plus side, now I can do that nasal whine all the modern male singers use. And it could always be worse; I could suddenly decide that what I need in my life is an obsession with MOBAs.

Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Jon Snow broke. I still haven't explained that. Hahahahahahaha.

Basically a character is broken as the first part of their character development, when something traumatic happens that forces them to mature. It doesn't always have to be the first part of their development - The Empire Strikes Back, of course, contains one of the most blatant examples, 2/3rds of the way through the trilogy (and in that case, it's not just the knowledge that Vader is his father that breaks Luke, but also the knowledge that Obi-Wan and Yoda have lied to him).

Anyway, here we are, on the eve of the northern part of the country seceding from the southern part over a messy political dispute. But enough about Scotland. (By the way, Scotland seceding might finally force us to acknowledge that James Bond - having been played by a Scot, an Aussie, a Welshman and an Oirishman in addition to two Brits, in a series produced by Americans - might wanna stop draping himself in the British flag. But I digress.)

The Karstarks are here. The entire Northern army is gathered. There are "winter houses" in which all the visitors and their armies are quartered. HBO never showed us that - woulda detracted from the titty budget - but it's nice to see George taking logistics into account and paying lip service to the troubles involved in feeding and housing twelve thousand men. And remember that the Northern army is one of the smallest ones on the field.

After a bit more of a rich cripple abusing a mentally-disabled peasant, we learn that

For near a fortnight there had been so many comings and goings that Robb ordered both portcullises kept up and the drawbridge down between them, even in the dead of night.

Hey, you know what drawbridges and portcullises are there for? They're there to keep enemies out. Spies, saboteurs, traitors, those sorts of things. Hey, flip back a page...

"Don't play the boy with me, Bran," Robb said.  "You know better than that. Only two days ago one of Lord Bolton's men knifed one of Lord Cerwyn's at the Smoking Log."

You can all guess where I'm going with this. What kind of moron names a pub "the Smoking Log?" I mean, seriously?

Bran goes to the godswood and prays that Robb won't have to leave.

Someone had to go, to hold the Neck and help the Tullys against the Lannisters, Bran could understand that, but it did not have to be Robb.

True.

His brother might have given the command to Hal Mollen

who?

or Theon Greyjoy

who is a) a traitor and b) an absolute shit tactician. At any rate, Robb's not going to let someone else do his job for him, because his father wouldn't. And that would be same father who is now rotting in a dungeon in King's Landing. Think on that one for a mo'.

Robb's various lords bannermen want things from him. But because he is the guy with the direwolf, he gets to make the rules, as the Greatjon finds out. Robb also notes that Lord Cerwyn plans to smuggle his daughter into Robb's bed. Hey, Robb, maybe you should stay out of the beds of strange girls. Just a thought.

Robb discusses the letter from Sansa, and the topic of conversation turns to Lady. She went south, and only her bones returned. And then the topic of conversation turns to their grandfather. He went south, and he died.

Hey. Starks. Don't go south.

Eh, but what do I know, eh?