More random politics

Some people like Ben Carson. I can't get over his deer-in-the-headlights debate performance. The cold, calculating Clinton or the delusional raving Sanders will tear him apart.

At this point my first choice is Ted Cruz because

• He's conservative (putting him ahead of Bush, Trump, Kasich, and Christie)
• He's not a bloviating psychopath (putting him ahead of Trump)
• He gives a rats' about the Constitution (which is basically my way of saying he's not running on Being A Social Conservative, a la Huckabee, although he certainly does care about the Constitution more than any other candidate save - arguably - Paul)
• He didn't embarrass himself in the debate (putting him ahead of Walker, Carson, and Paul)
• And finally I trust him slightly more than Rubio on immigration.

A debate between Trump and Bernie would basically be word salad, a never ending stream of verbal vomit as two delusional twits spew out jibber-jabber envincing a total disconnect from reality. They would be the highest-watched debates in history, but purely for the entertainment value; Finnegan's Wake would be more coherent.

Kingsman: The Secret Service: The one-sentence review

With the possible exceptions of The Spy Who Loved Me, the non-racist minute or so of Live and Let Die, and, God help us, Moonraker, the James Bond franchise has never been as balls-to-the-wall deliciously entertaining as Kingsman.

An incomplete list of Godfather 2's plot holes

Every once in a while there's a fortuitous intersection of two unrelated stimuli that provokes a profound reaction and inspires the incredible, viz., this blog post.

Point the first: I'm watching Godfather 2 with my folks. Because they're old and have early bedtimes, we don't get very far through the film each day and I have a lot of time to think about it.

Point the second: this chart, purporting to claim, among other things, that The Matrix is a better film than Jurassic Park or Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, that the bloated mess that is Judgment Day is better than the original Terminator, and that Godfather 2 is better than Godfather 1.

All of those claims are wrong, but I'm going to focus on the last one.

I have some predictions about SPECTRE.

SPLOILERS

Man of Steel

False advertising: not a Stalin biopic.

Independence Day not-so-liveblog

The nearly-20-year-old movie. The holiday can take care of itself.

Weekend Song, Independence Day Edition

Of course it's an American band this week.

Metallica - Don't Treat On Me

Jurassic World

The audience knows the truth. The world is simple, miserable, and solid all the way through. But if you can fool them, even for a second, then you can make them wonder. And you get to see something very special[...] the look on their faces.

-Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman), The Prestige

When Christopher Nolan wrote those words, he wasn't talking about just magic tricks. He was talking about moviemaking in general, but it especially applies to special effects - which are kind of like magic tricks.

The original Jurassic Park should be required viewing for anyone aspiring to direct action films (also on that list: Aliens and On Her Majesty's Secret Service. More to come as I think of them). Spielberg hit the sweet spot, showing off the dinosaurs as necessary to tell the story (and elicit the impressed oohs from 1993's movie-goers). That film could not have been made without CGI, and yet that was not a film about CGI. 

In Jurassic World, CGI dinosaurs have been a mainstay of movies theme parks for 20 years. The people running the show need more impressive effects dinosaurs to keep the money coming in. Eventually the CGI is substituted for an actual story with actual characters park breaks down again and a lot of people leave rather disappointed get eaten.

Jack from Mass Effect is my spirit animal.

The Confederate (Battle) Flag

So we're arguing about this, are we?

Season Five: The Autopsy

Game of Thrones Season Five was the biggest disappointment since my son.

Said Tywin Lannister.