I have some predictions about SPECTRE.

SPLOILERS


So the new trailer for The Greatest James Bond Film Of My Lifetime just dropped. How do I know, not having seen it, that it is The Greatest James Bond Film Of My Lifetime? Well, because the trailer contains at least three references to The Greatest James Bond Film Ever Made, a.k.a., The First James Bond Film Made In Daniel Craig's Lifetime, a.k.a., On Her Majesty's Secret Service. If you didn't get chills when That Theme fired up then go away, we can't be friends.

So anyway based on the new trailer I have two predictions, either one of which might just blow your mind:

1) Christophe Waltz is not playing Blofeld
He is playing Oberhauser, just like all the promotional material insists, because after the fiasco that was Star Trek Into Derpdom, EVERY STUDIO ON EARTH knows not to bullshit its audience about who the villain really is. Besides, Waltz does not have a white cat.

That said, Andrew Scott is obviously Blofeld. Because obviously.

2) Lea Seydoux's character is Bond's daughter, by way of Monica Bellucci's character
Seydoux is 30, Craig is 47, and Bellucci is 50. The ages just about match, allowing for typical Hollywood fudging. But seriously look at the first two shots of Seydoux's character in the trailer and tell me there's no connection between her and Bond. Anyway Seydoux is playing "a psychologist working at a private clinic in the Swiss Alps." Because we've never ever ever heard of a private clinic in the Swiss Alps before in a Bond Film and I am so very very excited for this. Bellucci, meanwhile, plays "the widow of an assassin killed by Bond," and I'm guessing there was a bit of widow-comforting going on.

(Is that Seydoux he's kissing at the end of the trailer? Her hair seems to be too dark, but I can't tell. Obviously that would blow up that theory.)

(I'll also admit that this could be unlikely insofar as - assuming Seydoux's character is Bond's daughter - she must have been conceived well before Bond ever got his 00 status.)

So here's an alternate theory:

2.5) She's Blofeld's daughter
Except Andrew Scott is oh bugger that doesn't work either.

3) She's Mr. White's daughter
Mr. White is "protecting something." The next thing we see is here. She got caught up in Blofeld's Swiss Alps plot, somehow, and Mr. White is willing to work with Bond for her benefit because we've never heard of a criminal working with Bond for the sake of his daughter before have we?

Anyway, she's totally going to die.