Still more incorrect Warhammer quotes

 Russ: HELP! I TOLD KHAN I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Corax, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Horus: While I’m gone, Mortarion, you’re in charge.
Mortarion: Yes!!!
Horus, whispering: Typhus, you’re secretly in charge.
Typhus: Obviously.

Curze: I prevented a murder today.
Lorgar: Really? How’d you do that?
Curze: self control.

Magnus: Can you keep a secret?
Tzeentch: Do you know anything about my life?
Magnus: No I do not. Good point.

E-Money: Tonight, one of you will betray us.
Lion: Is it me, E-Money?
E-Money: No, it’s not you.
Russ: Is it me, E-Money?
E-Money: It’s not you either.
Lorgar: Is it me, E-Money?
E-Money:
E-Money, mockingly: Is IT mE E-Money?

Russ: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Corax: Russ no.
Khan: Mistlefoe.
Corax: Please stop encouraging him.

Mortarion: Dammit, Nurgle!
Nurgle: What?! It wasn’t me!
Mortarion: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Typhus!
Typhus: Not me either.
Mortarion: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Horus: *whistles*

Magnus: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?
Ahriman: Rude.
Angron: That’s fair.
Horus: Not again.
Fulgrim: Are you going to want this back?

Curze: You're right.
Lorgar: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Emprah, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Horus: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Guilliman: What time is it?
Dante: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
Dante: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Seth: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Dante: It’s 2 am

Curze: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Curze: i became more evil if you’re curious
Horus: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Curze: i’m going to get worse on purpose.

Angron: Sanguinius! My face is on fire!
Sanguinius: Angron! Are you ok?!
Angron: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Sanguinius: But your face is on fire.
Angron: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Abaddon: Hey Fulgrim,
Fulgrim: Yes?
Abaddon: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Fulgrim:
Fulgrim: Where’s Lucius?

Dante: Sanguinor and I don’t use pet names.
Seth: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Dante: Honey?
Sanguinor: Yes, dear?
Dante:
Seth: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Fulgrim: So are we flirting right now?
Guilliman: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Fulgrim: That doesn’t answer my question

Russ: We need to get through this locked door. Guilliman, give me your credit card.
Guilliman: Here.
Russ, pocketing it: Thanks. Angron, kick down the door.

Kantor: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Seth: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Helbrecht isn’t

Magnus: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Angron will and will not eat.
Ahriman: Grass? Yes!
Magnus: Moss? Yes!!
Ahriman: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Magnus: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Ahriman: Worms? Sometimes!
Magnus: Rocks? Usually nah.
Ahriman: Twigs? Usually!
Magnus: Fulgrim's cooking? Inconclusive!
Horus: How did you… test this?
Magnus: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.
Horus: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.
Fulgrim: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?