Moar incorrect Warhammer quotes

Fulgrim: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Perturabo: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Fulgrim: Yes!
Angron: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Magnus: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Russ: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Magnus: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Fulgrim: Why are you on the floor?
Perturabo: I'm depressed.
Perturabo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Angron, please.

Horus: You have to apologize to Perturabo
Angron: Fine.
Angron: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Corax: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Dorn does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?
Russ: If Dorn were to jump off a cliff, he would’ve done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Dorn jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Corax: You jump off a cliff!
Russ: Gladly. Provided Dorn did first.

Horus: Perturabo, keep an eye on Angron today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Perturabo: Sure, I’d love to see Angron get punched.
Horus: Try again.
Perturabo, sighing: I will stop Angron from getting punched.

*Horus and Perturabo skipping stones on lake*
Horus: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Perturabo, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

(Perturabo is low-key hilarious in this, if you haven't noticed)

The Emprah: Magnus...
Magnus: Oh no, 'Magnus' in b-flat.
Magnus: You're disappointed.

Abaddon: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Typhus?
Typhus: … No.
Mortarion: I do!
Abaddon: I know, Mortarion.
Mortarion: I’m sad!
Abaddon: I know, Mortarion.

Malcador: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Dorn: *turning to Perturabo* How tall are you?

Sigismund: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Alpharius: You people already know too much about me.
Dorn: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Malcador: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Magnus: Plane tickets?
Angron: Concert tickets?
Emps: Prostitution?
Malcador, holding his broken frames: Glasses.

Russ: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Guiliman: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Russ: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Angron: Change is inedible.
Perturabo: Don't you mean inevitable?
Angron, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

Guilliman: I’m going to take you out
Fulgrim: great, it’s a date!
Guilliman: I meant that as a threat.
Fulgrim: See you at five!

Kharn: You kill people for money?!
Sigismund: I can explain!
Kharn: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

Calgar: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Guilliman: Calgar, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Vulkan: Today is a day of running through hurdles.
Corax: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?
Vulkan: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Russ: What is your biggest weakness?
Lion: I can be uncooperative.
Russ: Okay, can you give me an example?
Lion: No.

Ferrus: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Vulkan: If?
Russ: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

Ferrus: Tell Sanguinius about the birds and the bees.
Dorn: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

And finally, how the Heresy really got started:

Horus: Abaddon... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Abaddon: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Horus:
Horus: I wrote sanitize, Abaddon.