That other big thing this week

Matt Smith is leaving Doctor Who. And no, the next Doctor will not be a woman.

Now some fans are leaping to blame Patrick Troughton's ghost for this (cuz Troughton told Davison told Tennant told Smith to only do three years - nevermind the fact that Davison regrets not sticking around for a fourth year), and others are clogging Reddit with discussions about the possibility of a female doctor, even though that's not likely to happen any time soon.

Well, bye, Matt. I have a bit of difficulty differentiating your take on the Doctor from a) your predecessor's, and b) your boss's, so I think I'll just let history judge you. The fact that I haven't seen an episode of the show since you cheated death by hiding inside a robot replica of yourself while kissing your future would-be murderer in a universe that has since ceased to exist timey-wimey ball notwithstanting, you were, and I quote directly from my brain, "pretty good."

I love that, in the article quoted above, Rusty tries to suddenly be a moral guardian. The guy who put same-sex couples in Doctor Who thinks transsexuals cross the line. Apparently. (Sidebar: I'm also amused by Game of Thrones constantly equating homosexual and incestuous relationships.)

I'm disturbed that people want Billie Piper to be the next Doctor. ATTENTION YOUNG PEOPLE: Way back in the 1980s, the BBC did in fact cast someone as the Doctor who had already been on the show. His name was Colin Baker, and his tenure was a clusterfrak. Now, it wasn't his fault - Eric Saward wanted to write about bounty hunters and space marines, and George Lucas Jon Nathan-Turner wanted to sell toys rather than focus on telling a good story. But it is not a good omen. And besides, I don't want the next Doctor to say "fink" instead of "think."

But there's a second reason why I don't want Billie Piper to play the Doctor. And it has nothing to do with her gender.



I want an older Doctor.

I want a Doctor who does not have a relationship with his companion that manages to be a better love story than Twilight by mere dint of the fact that the Doctor doesn't frakking sparkle. I am sick of companions like Rose and Amy falling for a guy who is way way way way way way way way way way way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too old for them. Yes, Amy grew out of it. But look, you wonder what kind of message it sends to the kids.  You're worried about the implications of a man changing into a woman. I can understand that. But you've also sent the message that it's okay to date a guy ten times as old as you so long as he looks like Tennant/Smith. The hell?

And on the whole transgender thing - hate to break it to you, but Deep Space Nine beat you there. And Bablyon 5 was going to beat you there as well, before they realized they couldn't digitally alter Mira Furlan's voice enough (Delenn was going to be male in the pilot movie/Season 1, and then turn female - as opposed to half-human - in "Chrysalis").  And "she" was even a major love interest!

The Doctor is not human. The show tends to be better when it remembers this.

I had more to say but the folks at io9 beat me to it. As usual. Because it's like their job or something. Jerks.