Who Review: The Five Doctors

First, the obligatory quoting of this episode's most (in)famous line:
"What? No, not the mind probe!"

Okay, now that that's over with...

The Five Doctors is a goofy 20th anniversary special written by former script editor Terrance Dicks and starring three of the then-five Doctors (Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, and Peter Davison). Tom Baker had no intention of coming back to the show so soon after his departure, and William Hartnell was, er, living impaired (though he did appear in the very first scene, courtesy of archive footage from The Dalek Invasion of Earth). Richard Hurndall did a passable First Doctor impression, and the catch-all script allowed for virtually any companion matchup.

It's just as well that Tom Baker didn't show up, because the action is disjointed enough with four Doctors. It's worth mentioning that even though he has the least interesting adventure, Patrick Troughton still manages to steal the show from the incumbent Doctor, who at the time was half his age. Pertwee also has his moments (he reduces the polarity of the neutron flow for only the second time, which brings that catchphrase's usage count to two more than that of Star Trek's "beam me up, Scotty"), but as you'll hear me say often in regards to the Second Doctor, Troughton was simply magical.

Anthony Ainley gets to cover some new ground as the Master; he's offered the chance to play the hero for once and rescue the Doctors. This leads to the episode's most famous line: "A cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about." Of course, he's absolutely right. Of course, he reverts to evil, but because his help is constantly rejected by the Doctors (even though he saves Hurndall's bacon). And this is the series' only Ainley/Pertwee interaction, which I gather was fairly strained; Pertwee had enjoyed playing against Roger Delgado, a more Professor Moriartyesque Bond villian of a Master, whereas Ainley's interpretation seems at times to be a pale foreshadowing of Jack Nicholson's Joker in the 1989 Batman film, with hammy laughter and a constant over-the-top performance.

Sadly, this is one of the Doctor Who stories that it's safer to just not think too hard about. After all, the Fifth Doctor has lived through these events three times before; he should know who the real villain is by now. There's some subtext about failed quests for power and redemption, but the fact is that The Five Doctors is first and foremost a reunion show, a celebration of the show's past at the expense of plot, something that would plague the show in years to come.

Oh. One last thing. The Raston Warrior Robot is the cheapest part of the show. It's a guy in a silver suit and some camera tricks that you could pull off in your backyard. It's also the best part of the show. Keep that in mind when you consider Doctor Who's notorious low budget.

-James