Ashes of Victory: Game of Thrones 6.10 vs. My Desire to See Any Adaptation of the Honorverse

The first 20 minutes of that episode was the only good part. It was also written back in 2000, by someone else.

     A signal flashed out over a secure landline connection that no-one outside the innermost circles of State Security had ever even suspected existed. It reached a relay hidden in a subbasement of the Octagon, and from there it flicked to its final destination.
     The fifty-kiloton nuclear demolition charge detonated, and the Octagon, the entire surviving membership of the Committee of Public Safety, the would-be usurper, and her entire staff became an expanding ball of flame in the heart of Nouveau Paris.
     The thermal pulse flashed outward, followed moments later by the blast front itself, and the towers around the Octagon took the full fury of their impact with absolutely no warning. Their mass and bulk had seemed sufficient to protect those sheltering deep at their cores, and they had been... so long as the combatants restricted themselves to chemical explosives.
     They were not proof against the cataclysmic eruption of fusion-born plasma in their very midst, and the fireball of the Octagon's destruction enveloped them like the fiery breath of Hell itself.

I did a really drawn-out comparison between Field of Dishonor and "The Battle of the Bastards" in the last post and can't be bothered this time, so I'll just say that, yes, Cersei Lannister and the Big Kablooie is plucked from the pages of "Nightfall," the cut chapter from Ashes of Victory that was later released as a short story.

Anyway, those 20 minutes were good. But, from the music to the costumes, it wasn't Game of Thrones. That was odd and disconcerting - not as odd and disconcerting as me going on about this military-sf series in my Thrones reviews, I'm sure, but what am I supposed to do? I was really happy to see Cersei Saint-Just (as I'm calling her now) push the button, and seeing that tiny but iconic bit of of the Honorverse transplanted into what is now a terrible show raised my spirits just a bit.

It didn't last.

In Dorne, The Sassy Kingslayer knew her family was wiped out, because information travels at the speed of Plot. She sassed at the Sand Snakes before agreeing to an alliance in order to get "Justice, Vengeance, Fire and Blood" (checklist!). Varys showed up and then teleported back to The City Where Plots Go To Die, stopping in Braavos to lend his teleporter to Arya. Am I supposed to be upset that Doran's iconic line to Arianne became Varys's line to Olenna? I mean, do I wish Julian Bashir had more screentime and the Sand Snakes had less? Hell yes! But it is what it is. Anyway then Varys teleports back to Boring Dragon Lady, who apparently doesn't question the whole bit about him masterminding an assassination attempt on her way back in Season 1. But then, information travels at the speed of Plot in this show, so I guess she could find out about it later. Anyway Boring Dragon Lady has a legion of followers, because this is Season One.

In the Riverlands, Jaime dicked around the Twins for a feast (information travels at the speed of Plot, so they don't know Ramsay is dead and Jon is not) before heading back to King's Landing and a smoking crater ("Citizen Admiral Theisman, report to the bridge!" - sorry, I'll stop now). You know, the very damn thing he became the frickin' Kingslayer to avert?

Then Arya borrowed Varys' teleporter to do Frey Pies (checklist!) and murder Walder Frey without any setup whatsoever. I assumed the Brotherhood Without Banners was in on this, but no. Apparently not. So glad we brought the Hound back for a whole lotta nothin'.

Down South, Silly reached Oldtown. The receptionist looked like he wanted to punch Sam in the face, for which I cannot blame him. Turns out that because information travels at the speed of Plot, they haven't learned of Jeor Mormont's death 3 years ago. Punchable Face's side-piece and adopted kid were unceremoniously left in the foyer so Punchable Face could marvel in awe at a fake-looking library that looked like it belonged in Doctor Who. I would hate Punchable Face less if his punchable face wasn't limited to either oh-poor-me or shit-eating-grin, but it is, so I don't.

Up North, Middlefinger perved on Salsa Stork before every fair-weather friend of House Stark conveniently forgot about Sansa's claim and nominated a bastard KingInDaNorf. There was some KingInDaNorf declarations, because this is Season One. Further North, Benjen Kenobi left Bran to finally finish his vision and "subtly" suggest that Jon might not be Ned's son at all.

Hey - you know what wouldn't suck? If this was delayed. There was no reason to do the Tower of Joy this season. Howzabout instead Jon gets his army and they all think he's the KingInDaNorf and then goes off to fight, but some other guy, who they're opposing but they have reason to trust, spills the beans that R+L=J, so Jon's not the KingInDaNorf. And then his army abandons him because he's a Bloody Targ after all.

You know, revelations in and of themselves are awfully dull. It wouldn't be anywhere near as cool if Vader had just strolled up to Luke and dropped the beans about his parentage on him. No, first Vader beats Luke to within an inch of his life, physically scarring and tormenting him before he piles on The Revelation, adding mental scars and torment. Speaking of things that reference Empire, about half the people watching Civil War correctly guessed that the Winter Soldier killed Tony Stark's parents - but The Revelation kicks off the final battle.

So blah that was unearned. And pointless. But it did punish GRRM for taking six dam years to write a single book, so I can't hate it that much. You have nobody to blame but yourself for this mess, George. Nobody.