Star Trek Beyond review

The Return of the King and Revenge of the Sith are the only "Part Three" films that particularly shine (and Revenge arguably only shines in comparison to its predecessors) - unless you count Goldfinger, of course.

Star Trek Beyond is the 13th Star Trek film and the third in the rebooted film franchise. It is more Goldfinger than Return of the King, in that it's not wrapping up a trilogy or anything, it's Just Another Star Trek Film. There are a few things in it that seem really dumb or contrived that later turn out to actually be bits of foreshadowing, but that doesn't change the fact that they seem dumb or contrived when they're introduced (and one in particular that causes a massive plot hole when the "foreshadowing" penny drops). The Badass Alien Chick Who Barely Understands Humans is hands-down the best part of the film. Give her her own film please. You know you're going to do that stupid "cinematic universe" thing to compete with Marvel's Underpants Brigade and Mickey's Jedi Fanfic, so seriously make a movie about Albino Alien Katniss.

Yes, you may marry me.

(Her name's "Jaylah," as in J-Law, because guess whose characters they based her on?)

So here's the part of the plot that the trailers spoiled: the Enterprise is destroyed and Kirk and company are stranded on a planet with an evil alien warlord played by Idris Elba. They have to use their wits to survive and save the day blah blah blah.

Now, I bitched and moaned back in my Skyfall review about how it would be nice to actually f*cking wound James Bond for once and make him rely on his wits to survive and save the day blah blah blah, so I was kind of interested in seeing how this would work.

It works all right, I guess. There were a couple of instances where the exposition felt really rushed, as if they just wanted to get to the Big Dumb Action without really explaining why the Big Dumb Action was necessary. The fight scenes were also poorly edited, which seems to be an ongoing problem in Hollywood for almost everyone who isn't the Russo Brothers. There's some great by-play between Spock and McCoy (Karl Urban remains hands-down the best cast member, convincing me effortlessly that he's a young DeForest Kelley). There are a lot of neat little references to classic Trek - my favorite is a photo of the original cast (i.e., Shatner et al.) among Old Spock's belongings, which is obviously* a cast photo from The Undiscovered Country - and the score very subtly quotes the Undiscovered Country theme right as it's shown. They worked Leonard Nimoy's death into the plot, which is touching, but that's counterbalanced by some really awkward stuff involving Chekov (for those who don't know, Anton Yelchin, who plays Chekov in the rebooted film series, died in a freak car accident a month before the film premiered). There's some appallingly bad CGI involving a motorcycle, and the film has about three separate climaxes. Oh, and you can totally see the join between Idris Elba's lips and his (otherwise very impressive) mask. Overall I'd give the film a B+, which puts it light-years ahead of Star Trek: The Wrath of Sherlock.

*TvTropes seems to think it's a cast photo for The Final Frontier, but the Enterprise bridge set doesn't match that film. YES I AM A NERD.

SPOILERS BELOW

Blog in Exile (Chapter 2): Our Heroine's Swimsuit

So we had a prologue and a chapter explaining why we need her back in the saddle. As I said last time, the offer doesn't actually come until Chapter 6, so now we get to spend a lot of time looking at her mindset.

Blog in Exile (Chapter 1): Logistics and Character Notes

Peep resistance is stiffening. What impact does this have on our story?

Blog in Exile (Prologue): IT'S A TRAP!!!

I get to recycle that title. You'd almost think I did that deliberately.

Blog in Exile: What even is Military Science Fiction?

"A military in space, usually with some political layer," is one answer. "Science fiction without the fantasy" is another. Game of Thrones in Space would not be MSF, partly because, you know, dragons and ice zombies, and partly because the main characters are decidedly not part of the warrior caste. (Jaime Lannister being the notable exception, but all of his character growth comes from him no longer being able to rely on his martial prowess.)

Ashes of Victory: Game of Thrones 6.10 vs. My Desire to See Any Adaptation of the Honorverse

The first 20 minutes of that episode was the only good part. It was also written back in 2000, by someone else.

Blog in Exile: Background

Boy, I'm excited. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Blog in Exile, my re-read of Flag in Exile, the fifth Honorverse novel - and one of the best.

Why am I starting the Honorverse with this one? A few reasons.

One, I wanted to start the Honorverse with one of my favorite entries in the series, and neither Field of Dishonor (too much backstory) nor At All Costs (waaaaaaaaaaay too much backstory) could serve neatly as an entry point. I suppose I could have done The Honor of the Queen, which Flag is in some ways a sequel to, but I'd probably get bogged down comparing it to The Wrath of Khan, because it is basically that - two crippled ships, one whose commander is consumed by self-doubt, the other commanded by a psychotic fanatic, circling each other with intervals of them pounding the snot out of each other.

Another thing I really like about Flag is that it's the book where the heroine finally drops the neurotic tics that have plagued her for the first four books, and she does it in style.

The deciding factor was that this happens to be Flag's 20th anniversary. What better way to celebrate?

A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 62) Tyrion VIII: IT'S A TRAP!!!!

We are back, ladies and gentlethings! 

Previously on A Game of Thrones, Daenerys surveyed the aftermath of a battle we didn't actually get to see. Is George teasing us?