Previously on A Blog of Thrones, Ned Stark ruminated on some terrible life choices. Today on A Blog of Thrones, Catelyn makes a terrible life choice.
My mother has eleven siblings. I was probably at least 10 before I could name all my cousins. Dickish decisions later on aside, I would hate to be a Frey.
Anyway, Catelyn is riding south with Robb. Let's back up a second here: this is the woman who kicked off a war by abducting Tyrion on the word of a supremely untrustworthy bastard, who then lost said Tyrion because she thought it would be a good idea to hide him at her insane sister's place, and now she's going off with Robb because she thinks he needs her advice.
There is a reason I call this series "stupid versus evil."
Catelyn is nervous for about eighteen quintillion reasons. It's possible that everything that happens between now and the Red Wedding is just one big slow-motion breakdown for her.
Robb confers with all of his subordinate lords, one at a time, as they ride/march/lollygag their way south. Apparently this is because he thinks they all have something worth saying. Today he's riding with Robett Glover, whose one line in this scene is "Do you think [Walder Frey] means to betray us to the Lannisters, my lady?"
Oh.
Tactical situation: Lord Frey has 4,000 men, and Robb has 18,000. I don't believe we were ever given an accurate Lannister figure. Anyway, Robb needs the Twins in order to get across the river, because it's the only way. Well, yes, because Tywin's forces have taken up a position at the ruby ford. Although one wonders; if Robb could somehow negate Tywin's archers, wouldn't it do him a world of good to fight him over a bridge, where he could bottleneck Tywin's superior numbers?
Walder Frey has been defending his lands from Lannister raiding parties. Brynden Blackfish has been shooting down Frey's ravens. Everyone is sending mixed messages here. While they're dallying, Jaime smashes the pitiful host at Riverrun and takes Edmure captive. (Remember this later.)
As they discuss how to treat with Walder Frey, Catelyn wonders if Ned ever taught Robb "wisdom as well as valor," or "how to kneel." Clever, that writing, given that Ned's weighing the same problem right now.
The Twins are two towers on either side of a massive bridge that took three generations (!) to build. The Frey envoy comes out to talk, and by "talk" I mean "invite Robb in to share meat and mead." No mention of the guest-right is made, how interesting. I do often wonder how much of this story was just George writing by the seat of his pants. It'd be fun to know when in the writing process certain decisions were made. What's also hilarious is Roose Bolton advising Robb not to go in there.
Catelyn resolves the stalemate by going in by herself. Now, dear reader, you know I don't have the highest of opinions regarding Catelyn Tully/Stark or her decision-making capabilities, and it would tiring to rehearse all the multitude reasons at this late hour. So you can imagine what I think of this. Dear woman: it was your rash action in kidnapping the heir of a rich psychopath that started this whole thing. Please do not pretend that you're going to be able to solve it with another rash decision.
Walder Frey is 90, and married to a 16-year-old. (In the show he's looking for another wife, and somehow I got my wires crossed and thought that at one point there was the implication that Catelyn was going to sell him one of her daughters for the alliance.) Frey says he was all set and ready to march, when word came that Edmure lost his battle. Hrm. Also, for proof of his intent he calls on the testimony of Ser Jared Frey, who, one recalls, was a wee bit of a liar in A Digression With Dragons or whatever that book was called, so also hrm.
Frey points out that he's in a tenuous situation, given that he swore oaths to Catelyn's father, who is now besieged by forces acting in the name of the king, as well as oaths to that same king. Seems reasonable, but of course he swore oaths to Robert Baratheon. He hasn't had time to swear oaths to Joffrey yet. (Incidentally, Walder's name was on the list of those commanded to come to Kings Landing and swear allegiance a few chapters ago.)
Frey whines and rambles about how his life sucks and his children are all disappointments and he calls Loras Tyrell Ser Daisy which is officially the best nickname for that guy ever, and offhandedly drops that Jon Arryn meant to foster his (Jon's) son with Stannis Baratheon and not Tywin Lannister as Catelyn had understood. "They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit," he says - I knew there was a reason I liked both of them - but he can tell the difference.
And then suddenly they start haggling.
I'm tempted to give Catelyn points here for figuring out what Frey wanted, but it was frickin' obvious from the way he went on about how many sons and daughters he had.
We all know the terms. One thing I'd like to point out: Frey wants his so Olyvar knighted sometime down the road. Even though Northmen keep to the old gods and knights are strictly the province of the Faith of the Seven.
A Blog of Thrones will return in Jon VIII.
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