It's not so much that it's just a stupid, transparent attempt to sell new toys (it is, though).
It's not because it Westernizes the Jedi, who have basically Eastern-exclusive influences up to this point (I really don't care, but some people do).
Rather...
Yes, logically, lightsabers should have crossguards. You know, just like, logically, there should be some explanation for how the Force actually works.
In other words, the last time somebody overthought something cool and iconic and StarWarsy, we got f*cking medichlorians.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Friday, November 28, 2014
Lemme nerdsplain to you why Star Wars VII is gonna suck
Do you know what made the original Star Wars so epically awesome?
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Another thought on Interstellar
is that it can't quite decide what it wants to be.
As I said last time, the first hour or so of the film sets it up (misleadingly) as Atlas Shrugged In Space. The second hour of the film: "Humans are flawed. Some will make mistakes and others will just outright lie and endanger the entire human race to save their skins." The third hour: one part Doctor Who space magic (Steven Moffat's probably slapping himself for not having come up with this already, as the third act is totally right up his alley), one part Spielberg sentimentality. The first two hours aren't entirely at odds with each other, but the third most certainly is.
And therein, to me, lies the main problem. As late as the scene where Matt Damon was failing his docking maneuver, I was prepared to love the film.
As I said last time, the first hour or so of the film sets it up (misleadingly) as Atlas Shrugged In Space. The second hour of the film: "Humans are flawed. Some will make mistakes and others will just outright lie and endanger the entire human race to save their skins." The third hour: one part Doctor Who space magic (Steven Moffat's probably slapping himself for not having come up with this already, as the third act is totally right up his alley), one part Spielberg sentimentality. The first two hours aren't entirely at odds with each other, but the third most certainly is.
And therein, to me, lies the main problem. As late as the scene where Matt Damon was failing his docking maneuver, I was prepared to love the film.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Stuff you may not know about me, entry CXLIV
I'm (very slowly) sifting my way through David Weber's Honor Harrington series. (I'm alternating back and forth between these and the Ian Fleming James Bond novels.) Aside from some poorly-timed infodumps I'm greatly enjoying them.
Monday, November 17, 2014
A Blog of Thrones (Chapter 56) Tyrion VII: Don Lannister
Previously on A Blog of Thrones, I decided to hypnotize some chickens in lieu of discussing Robb's battle tactics. In today's post, I include a picture of James Bond to spare myself having to discuss the Lannister battle tactics either.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
BLIZZCON 2014
The valiant underdog came from behind and left the world stunned. I could drag out the election metaphor a bit or I could just congratulate Life on a series of balls-out amazing plays.
While I do think he was a bit overeager with his proxy hatches - they never paid off and he had to spend most of the rest of those games on the back foot before landing a few incredibly lucky engagements - I do think he was hands-down the best tactician on the field. I think it was his RO8 game on Overwatch where, with a massive enemy army marching north against him, he just swung completely around, decided not to take an engagement against an enemy on the high ground, and went straight for his opponent's base.
You know, kinda what Longstreet told Lee he should have done at Gettysburg.
Does this mean that zerg is imba? Hardly. There was one zerg in the final eight. And zerg requires more mechanical skill than the other races do. No, shut up, it's true. Your APM will go up when you play zerg because you have to do more stuff. Note that after his proxy hatch plays, Life should have been much further ahead than he wound up being. One of those games lingered on for an entire hour. This isn't a cheese-fail situation where your play screws up and you have nothing behind it; Life did economic damage, but because terrans have MULEs and protoss is just OP - no, shut up, it is - it didn't give him a significant advantage.
Elsewhere, there was Hearthstone and WOW stuff, neither of which you'll read much about ever on this blog. Heroes had a few showmatches, yay. Diablo panels talked about how they changed up the game because their initial roll-out was so ill-conceived. (Seriously, it's like the guys who were originally in charge didn't know what "fun" is.)
The Starcraft tournament kept having technical issues. Dear Blizzard: blah blah your MMO and your virtual card game, Starcraft is eSports, and those issues were just embarrassing. As was your non-apology at the closing ceremony. Of course, shortly after that non-apology you obliterated us with a thorough application of Metallica, so I suppose all is forgiven.
Legacy of the Void was announced and there are a lot of cool new things to look at and abuse, half of which probably won't make it into the final game, alas. Just from watching one showmatch it was obvious that the ability to drop Siege Tanks already in siege mode is never going to be balanced. (Unless you bring back the siege tech upgrade.)
It seems like the entire mindset now is "faster games with more micro." I get that this means seriously overhauling terran - the master turtle - but, crikey, the other changes aren't great. The Immortals got nerfed - this is unforgivable - and the one new zerg unit (Lurkers don't count) won't ever be able to accomplish anything.
My suggestion is that you don't switch to terran in anticipation of the next expansion (or whatever it is), because it's going to get nerfed.
While I do think he was a bit overeager with his proxy hatches - they never paid off and he had to spend most of the rest of those games on the back foot before landing a few incredibly lucky engagements - I do think he was hands-down the best tactician on the field. I think it was his RO8 game on Overwatch where, with a massive enemy army marching north against him, he just swung completely around, decided not to take an engagement against an enemy on the high ground, and went straight for his opponent's base.
You know, kinda what Longstreet told Lee he should have done at Gettysburg.
Does this mean that zerg is imba? Hardly. There was one zerg in the final eight. And zerg requires more mechanical skill than the other races do. No, shut up, it's true. Your APM will go up when you play zerg because you have to do more stuff. Note that after his proxy hatch plays, Life should have been much further ahead than he wound up being. One of those games lingered on for an entire hour. This isn't a cheese-fail situation where your play screws up and you have nothing behind it; Life did economic damage, but because terrans have MULEs and protoss is just OP - no, shut up, it is - it didn't give him a significant advantage.
Elsewhere, there was Hearthstone and WOW stuff, neither of which you'll read much about ever on this blog. Heroes had a few showmatches, yay. Diablo panels talked about how they changed up the game because their initial roll-out was so ill-conceived. (Seriously, it's like the guys who were originally in charge didn't know what "fun" is.)
The Starcraft tournament kept having technical issues. Dear Blizzard: blah blah your MMO and your virtual card game, Starcraft is eSports, and those issues were just embarrassing. As was your non-apology at the closing ceremony. Of course, shortly after that non-apology you obliterated us with a thorough application of Metallica, so I suppose all is forgiven.
Legacy of the Void was announced and there are a lot of cool new things to look at and abuse, half of which probably won't make it into the final game, alas. Just from watching one showmatch it was obvious that the ability to drop Siege Tanks already in siege mode is never going to be balanced. (Unless you bring back the siege tech upgrade.)
It seems like the entire mindset now is "faster games with more micro." I get that this means seriously overhauling terran - the master turtle - but, crikey, the other changes aren't great. The Immortals got nerfed - this is unforgivable - and the one new zerg unit (Lurkers don't count) won't ever be able to accomplish anything.
My suggestion is that you don't switch to terran in anticipation of the next expansion (or whatever it is), because it's going to get nerfed.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
I voted. And no, I don't want a sticker.
If I served in the US military, I'd get an appropriate bumper sticker. Maybe even a tattoo. When I get admitted to the bar, I'll crow about that.
But voting? Crikey. I took 10 minutes out of my day to drive down to the polling place (a union hall with a big "STOP THE WAR ON WORKERS" sign right outside the voting room) and filled in a few circles.
Medal, now.
This isn't Afghanistan post-9/11, where they got their first real election in quite a while (can't be bothered to research) courtesy of Uncle Sam, and they still didn't have the entire country pacified, so going around with a dab of purple paint on your finger was actually a risk.
But voting? Crikey. I took 10 minutes out of my day to drive down to the polling place (a union hall with a big "STOP THE WAR ON WORKERS" sign right outside the voting room) and filled in a few circles.
Medal, now.
This isn't Afghanistan post-9/11, where they got their first real election in quite a while (can't be bothered to research) courtesy of Uncle Sam, and they still didn't have the entire country pacified, so going around with a dab of purple paint on your finger was actually a risk.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
On Her Majesty's Secret Service, that weird film where James Bond actually goes through a proper character arc (meaning he's not really James Bond at the beginning), there's a full-on "falling in love" montage, the best scene has the Bond Girl recite poetry, and it ends on an inevitable-yet-upsetting note without any closure whatsoever.
Crikey, this series can be excellent when it forgets what it's "supposed" to be.
Crikey, this series can be excellent when it forgets what it's "supposed" to be.
This week's Skyrim roleplay
1) strip your character buck-ass nekkid. Meaning, empty your entire inventory.
2) fast-travel to the opposite side of the map from your home.
3) get back home. No fast-traveling.
Easy, you say, right? After all, you start the game with nothing in your inventory.
Wrong. And while we're talking, call your mother. She worries.
You're handed your first weapon and armor on a silver platter in the game. Yeah, yeah you have your spells and your shouts and your werewolf/vampire lord transformation, but you don't have your enchanted gear. How many fireballs can you really cast? If you're a werewolf, when do you take that once-per-day transformation? If you're a vampire lord, congratulations, it's easier going... until the sun comes up.
You have no money, potions, or soul gems. You start out with no armor, and you'll probably have to start by making do with the crap that the common bandits wear. You don't get to keep your pickaxe or wood-chopper, so good luck making your own stuff.
Have fun!
2) fast-travel to the opposite side of the map from your home.
3) get back home. No fast-traveling.
Easy, you say, right? After all, you start the game with nothing in your inventory.
Wrong. And while we're talking, call your mother. She worries.
You're handed your first weapon and armor on a silver platter in the game. Yeah, yeah you have your spells and your shouts and your werewolf/vampire lord transformation, but you don't have your enchanted gear. How many fireballs can you really cast? If you're a werewolf, when do you take that once-per-day transformation? If you're a vampire lord, congratulations, it's easier going... until the sun comes up.
You have no money, potions, or soul gems. You start out with no armor, and you'll probably have to start by making do with the crap that the common bandits wear. You don't get to keep your pickaxe or wood-chopper, so good luck making your own stuff.
Have fun!
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