The common people pray for rain, healthy children, and a summer that never ends. It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace. They never are.All right, let's go through and compare all the Stormcloak and Imperial Jarls to figure out, if you don't give a fig and/or will worship Talos anyway, which side you might as well support. I aim to answer one simple question: which side will result in having more "good" Jarls and fewer "bad" Jarls?
-Ser Jorah Mormont, A Game of Thrones chapter 23
Haafignar: Elisif the Fair v. Elisif the Fair
Um. Elisif gets to keep her job no matter what, it's just a question of whether she's a puppet for
Hjaalmarch: Idgrod Ravencrone v. Sorli the Builder
Idgrod has visions. Sorli has... a mine? Neither seem overwhelmingly supportive of their "side," in that Idgrod kind of evades the question and Sorli holds to the Eight rather than the Nine. At the end of the day I think a mystic is a better choice to rule over a haunted swamp than... uh, whatever qualification Sorli has. (And no, I totally haven't modded the game to marry Idgrod the Younger, why do you ask?*) Point to the Empire.
The Reach (and, for that matter, The Rift): Igmund and Laila Law-Giver v. Thongvor Silver-Blood and Maven Black-Briar
So both the Imperials and the Stormcloaks have a naive idiot who will get replaced by a haughty crime-lord whose position can be furthered (or not) depending on what actions the Dragonborn takes. A begrudging point to each side. 2-1 for the Imps.
Falkreath Hold: Siddgeir v. Dengeir of Stuhn
Dengeir is, to be sure, old and paranoid, but Siddgeir is such a tool. 2-2. (By the way, this could just be a glitch in my game, but if Dengeir grabs the throne, does that letter Siddgeir sent you when you reached level 9 suddenly change its authorship to Dengeir's?)
Whiterun Hold: Balgruuf the Greater v. Vignar Grey-Mane
On the one hand, Balgruuf is quick to respond to the dragon threat. On the other hand, he sends you into a zombie-infested tomb for no reason. Furthermore the man dithers forever in taking a side, and only throws down with the Empire against the Stormcloaks because there's more money in it.
But as not-overwhelmingly-good-as-his-reputation-suggests Balgruuf is, Vignar's worse. He's all too happy to let bandits plunder the Battle-Born home just because they backed the other side. Dick move, Vignar, and 3-2 for the Empire.
The Pale: Skald the Elder v. Brina Merilis
Skald the Elder's a dick. Like, a Joffrey Baratheon-level dick. 4-2 for the Empire. Far and away the easiest call of them all.
Winterhold: Korir v. Kraldar
Korir reminds me of Stannis Baratheon in that he's got a tiny holding in an inhospitable hell and he's determined to survive anyway. I respect that. He doesn't like the College much, even though it's the only tourist trap in his godsforsaken hold (other than the shrine of Azura, and if you haven't been there, go: it'll do wonders for your enchanting (not a euphemism, though it could be)). A bit unreasonable, there, Korir. His replacement is exquisitely bland, so much so that I had to look his name up. I'm going to give this one a tie, though. Korir's badassery is mitigated by his misguided hatred for the College. Still 4-2 for the Empire.
Windhelm:
Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak the Kingslayer v. Brunwulf Free-Winter
Well, either way this goes, the Empire still comes out ahead. This saves me the trouble of having to drag my own politics into this one, and is why I saved it for last. I will just note, on the subject of Ulfric's so-called racism, that he never comments on your race (even in a condescending way, i.e., "You're a credit to cat-people everywhere") and the first person to call you (say) a lizard is the Imperial captain trying to cut your head off at the beginning. So really it's not that he doesn't give a frak about non-Nords; he doesn't give a frak about people not sworn to his cause, and given that the man is fighting a frickin' civil war, I think that's understandable.
*No, I really haven't. I mean, just for a start, a comparison of their respective mothers shows that Ingun Black-Briar will age much better than she will.
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