Thursday, October 11, 2012

The most idiotic photoshop contest Cracked has ever done

Is available here, and by God it is terrible.

Let's start with just the basic concept.  Mundane photos. Not famous photos, works of art, scenes from films, etc. Nothing where we'd be expected to know the original. No, the entire joke here is something "creepy" is just flung into a random, low-resolution photo of what-the-frak-ever.  I'll highlight some of my favorites.

#24: A clown in a mirror. Because clowns are creepy, I guess. If this were the only "little girl stalked by horror movie cliche" picture in this competition, I'd probably let it slide. But it's not, dear reader. No, it's not.

#23: A fish with hands. That's creepy?

#22: Death is chillin' in the background watching a bungee jumper jump.  This guy got the "easter egg" thing right, because it took me a while to notice it.  Whether a blurry guy in a robe with a blurry scythe is actually creepy or not is something I'll let you judge.

#21: One of the only decent entries in this entire list.

#20: I applaud the guy's photoshop skills. Reflections can't be easy to fake. But... this is a mundane photo?  Really?

#19: I genuinely do not know what I'm supposed to be looking at here. It looks like something is wrong with the kid's right hand, but I have no idea what it's supposed to be because... oh. My bad. The easter egg is on the bottom right of the frame. But seriously, look at that kid's hands!

#18: I get it. But the image quality is so poor it looks like everything was photoshopped.

#17: See #24.

#16: I had to look in the comments to figure this one out. That's how frakking stupid and not-creepy it is.

#15: See #21.

#14: I'm at a total loss. I mean, the last time the Weeping Angels were scary was 2007. (Disclaimer: unless "The Angels Take Manhattan" was actually good. I haven't seen it yet.)

#13: Look another monster clown. The horror. The horror.

#12: Thank you Cracked. Finally one where the photoshop is so bad it's immediately obvious, and kinda creepy to boot.

#11: Decent.

#10: See, you cleverly hid a perfectly crisp hanged man in the blurry portion of the picture. Illusion ruined. (Why the sodding hell would you use a blurry picture in the first frakking place? See also #19.)

#s 9-7: Okay, I guess.

#6: What... the... hell?

#s 5, 4: Okay, I guess.

#3: I... I have no comment.

#2: GODWIN'S LAW!

#1: What the hell is that splotch of red? Seriously, #21 was creepier than this one.

So thanks, Cracked. Now never do it again.

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