Why I hate Kylo Ren: A Rant

So at this point it should be clear that I think that Disney's Weekend at Yoda's trilogy is worse than garbage. It is an abomination. It is like that one comic story where the villain brought a bunch of dead heroes back, except as evil, defiled zombies. (BTW, Blackest Night is excellent, READ IT.) Disney has murdered Star Wars and paraded its mutilated corpse around and demanded we pay them for the privilege of witnessing it all, or at least give them a thorough tongue-bath and pretend it's at least better than the prequels. Which it is not.

And there is nothing that infuriates me more than praise for The Actor Adam Driver (the words "The Actor" appearing by contractual obligation to remind us all what it is he's actually trying to do, although he was surprisingly good in Lincoln which only goes to show that he can, in fact, act when given proper writing and direction) and his character, Kylo Ren fuck that Kyle Ben fuck that Lord Hiltsaber fuck that Darth Wannabe no fuck that, we'll call him by his stupid made-up name. What the fuck is that? "Kylo" sounds like either a Space Lego or a bastardization of "caelo," the Latin for, I shit you not, "heaven." Okay, "caelo ren" would then conjure up imagery of splitting the heavens in two, which is badass as fuck, not that Kylo does anything of the sort, but only super-nerds would get that, and there's probably already a 40k character or weapon or ship or concept named Caelo Ren, because of course there is.

No, Rian, Force Flight is an abomination

SPOILERS for Disney's Weekend at Yoda's 2: The Next Cash-In

STAR WARS has a villain problem.

By Star Wars, I mean Disney's Star Wars, which is not Star Wars.