Field of Dishonor: Game of Thrones 6.09 vs. Any Semblance of Dramatic Tension

Yes, this is the right image, and you're my favorite person if you know why before I explain it.

Wow. What a steaming pile of direwolf dung.

Captain America: Civil War

"In a lot of ways [superhero registration] can be a political issue, and we didn't want the conflict of the movie to solely exist on that level. We wanted to figure out very personal reasons why everyone's relationship to the idea of registration is going to become complicated." 
-Co-director Anthony Russo explains why the film is so much better than the comic: it's about character, stupid!

This post will contain SPOILERS for the first 30 minutes or so of Civil War.

Game of Thrones is actually bad (6x09: "Battle of the Bastards")

Guys, Game of Thrones is officially worse than A Dance With Dragons, something I'd not thought possible even as late as whatever epic awfulness was happening last season.

Pictured: both what was happening last season, and what should be done to ADWD

Both the series and the books are now having to come to grips with the contradiction at the heart of the franchise:

• This is a "realistic" series with "consequences" and "no plot armor" which means "anyone can die."
• The audience still expects the good guys (tm) to ultimately win, and will be gravely disappointed if the last book/season is 10,000 words/10 hours of snow falling on graves.

Don't think for a moment that GRRM's going to have an easier time of this. Hell, don't think that GRRM's not going to croak before finishing the series. Game of Thrones is what you're getting, children, so enjoy the road trip to Hell.

There were a lot of things that were wrong with the episode. Very few of them had anything to do with the City Where Plots Go To Die, which should raise more red flags than Bernie Sanders's front yard on May Day (yes, I shamelessly stole that from somebody, I forgot who). In fact, the City Where Plots Go To Die wasn't all that bad. Clever Dwarf was clever, Boring Dragon Lady briefly captured my attention by flirting with Swashbuckling Lesbian, and there were some big fire-breathing lizards that probably ate into the effects budget and explained why the BATTLE OF THE BASTARDS was so utterly underwhelming.

Now onto the meat of the episode.