Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Guardians, Take 2

The movie's lighthearted. That's fine. Men in Black and Spaceballs were both pretty lighthearted. So was the Hitchhiker's Guide film. (Come to think of it, Hitchhiker's wasn't utterly awful in its own right, it was just a poor adaptation of the radio show/novels.)

Since I compared the heroes protagonists to the ones in Farscape (and on re-watching Guardians I realized I made a colossal mistake in comparing Gamora to Aeryn - Gamora's probably the most morally "good" member of the team for at least the first half of the film, whereas Aeryn takes a long time to snap out of Evil Soldier Mode) I thought I'd better compare the villains to the ones in Star Wars as well. This might make my point better. Both films have a Big Bad, a Dragon, and a Bigger Bad.

The Bigger Bad is the most evil guy in the setting, but he's really kinda beyond the scope of the plot. That's the Emperor in the original Star Wars film (he never shows up, but Tarkin and Vader are running the show in his name), and Thanos in Guardians (we see him, but he personally does nothing).

The Big Bad is the primary villain of the story, the one with the plan that the heroes need to stop. Tarkin in Star Wars, Ronan in Guardians. Usually - not always (think Blofeld, or Vader in Empire) - the Big Bad will be killed off at the end of the story.

The Dragon is the Big Bad's greatest asset, either the biggest or second-biggest physical threat to the heroes (depending on how physical the Big Bad is - that's one difference between Tarkin and Ronan). Vader in Star Wars, Nebula in Guardians. (They both happen to be cyborg pilots with familial connections to one of the protagonists, but that's just a coincidence.)

Let's see how long this lasts

I've done this before (too lazy to check when) but this blog really is called The Daily Dose of Dirty Deeds, so my new years resolution is to have at least one post every day.

Yeah. Let's see about that.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Greatest Bond Film Ever Made turned 45 today

I am, of course, talking about On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

I thought I'd return to that post and update it with a few things that I left out the first time, or else touched on but didn't really explain in depth. So:

11) The Concept.

They knew better than to try to cast a Connery clone and carry on as though nothing had changed, but surely a safer course of action than what they did would have been to cast a name actor who'd established himself as "the heir apparent to Sean Connery," write Bond quite a bit like Connery's Bond, and remake/update the early Connery films. It's not surprising that this is exactly what they did in 1973 with Roger Moore, and it shouldn't surprise to learn that they actually did try to get Moore for this one.

What they did instead was acknowledge the change and make The New James Bond totally different than his predecessor, on a level that has never been equaled. (Even Daniel Craig starts out with a handful of Brosnan-isms, although these are presented as signs of Craig!Bond's immaturity and he grows out of them by the end of Quantum of Solace.) Arguably they came up a bit short by casting an actor who couldn't quite pull it off (it's fair to say that there are scenes where you can't tell whether Lazenby's being unconvincing as James Bond or whether Lazenby's being very convincing at making Bond, as one site called it, an "authentic failure of an agent"), and arguably they undermined him considerably by drowning him in his predecessor's trappings. It's not surprising that they never tried such a radical shift again, nor that they deliberately chose to have Roger Moore never drive an Aston Martin nor say "shaken not stirred." But having said that, it's amazing that they were willing to take such a giant leap back then. (The "people who want to stay alive play it safe" line is kind of awkward in hindsight, isn't it?)

What's more, they decided to do this "Different Bond," but keep a lot of the tone of the previous few outings. There's still a sense of zany fun here that the Craig films, in their superseriousness, lack. Blofeld's scheme this time around is to hypnotize bimbos into murdering all the chickens in the world with a super-virus. He's not out to win back some money or steal Bolivia's water or rip off The Dark Knight. Now, some might say that changing Bond but not the tone fatally undermined the film; you can make the same argument for the two Daltons. My counter-argument is that they had to play to their audience's expectations somewhere. The audience wanted Sean Connery and mad villainy. They couldn't have the former, so I applaud the filmmakers in not even trying to give it to them. They could have the latter, though, so the filmmakers wisely gave it to them.

12) The Ice Rink Scene

I talked about it a bit in the other post, but on reflection, it's also one of the best scenes in the film and deserves its own section. Special mention goes to the use of an insipid Christmas song, first to provide a massive dose of soundtrack dissonance to an increasingly hopeless escape attempt (again, just imagine the Connery Bond ever just hunkering down and waiting to be recaptured), and secondly to re-introduce Tracy on the line "...and most of all, they need love."

(I do confess some confusion as to whether this scene is meant to take place on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve. Dialogue in the surrounding scenes implies the former, but I've never heard of fireworks going off at midnight on Christmas Eve. Come to think of it, I'm not sure how long the time-frame of the movie is. How cold does Portugal get in the winter?)

13) Peter R. Hunt

He edited the first five Bond films before getting to direct this one. In the course of those films he changed the way fight scenes are edited, as well as edited both Thunderball and You Only Live Twice down to watchable lengths. Then he got saddled with this one, starring an inexperienced nobody and set up a mountain. In a less-capable man's hands, the end result would have been a disaster. And yet, Hunt took the same lessons he'd learned as an editor and employed them here. The film mostly zips along, disguising its 2:20 running time behind a series of energetic punch-ups, romance, intrigue, nutty villainy, and epic action sequences.

The fights push the Hunt-style rapid-fire editing basically as far as it can go (indeed, we'd never see editing this fast again until Quantum of Solace, which overdid it). Hunt's visual style is also just-noticeably different from that of his predecessors - check out the shot of Blofeld silhouetted by the sun when he's talking to Bond's MI6 shadow. There's enough inspiration in here to suggest that, even though this was the first film he directed, he wasn't just following in his predecessors' footsteps. I've actually covered a good chunk of it before - the love-letters to the various scenes and shots and so on are really love-letters to his style - so there's not much else to say, other than the fact that, according to one source, it was actually Hunt's idea to give James Bond an actual character, rather than a collection of tropes bundled into a suit bundled into a car.

Honestly - and I admit that this is probably more controversial than me saying that OHMSS is the greatest Bond Film ever - Hunt's abrupt departure from the series was a bigger problem than Connery's. Look at how tepid the editing is in the 70s. Look at how uninspired the visuals are in the 80s. 60s Bond manages to stand out - partly because it was carving its own path rather than aping someone else, yes, but also because of people like Hunt who were doing the path-carving.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dine!

A list, compiled from memory, of all the times the villain had captured Bond but couldn't be bothered to kill him.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

I vent

Who the FUCK thought a section of a game wherein the game deliberately forces fun killing-crap like, say, lag on you would ever be fun? WHO? WHO!?!??!

This looks fun

Can't decide if it's Moore-Bond with attitude or a Brosnan film done right. Either way, I wanna see it.

Also, that infrared bulletproof umbrella thing. Remember when Sam Mendes (Skyfall, Spectre) said that the best Bond gadgets could be found in an Apple store? I said that demonstrates extreme lack of vision and probably counts as evidence why, beautiful cinematography aside, Mendes needs to go. Doubling down on that now, because the infrared bulletproof umbrella thing is awesome.

Speaking of James Bond we have this little insight from The Incredible Suit:
Damn skippy.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Spectre's coming back

One of the ideas kicked around for The Spy Who Loved Me was to open with a "new" SPECTRE coming in and blowing away the old guard (Blofeld apparently included). This ultimately went nowhere (just Google "Kevin McClory Thunderball" if you want a long and sordid history), though Blofeld himself was ultimately bumped off in For Your Eyes Only in a very off-hand way.

Now we "know" that SPECTRE - the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion - is coming back. One wonders if they're going to replace QUANTUM in the same way.

A better question is WHY???

SPECTRE was a fun campy 60s supervillain group, parodied by Austin Powers. In other words, it's the thing current Bond is running from. (And we can debate the merits of that artistic decision. I like my campy Moore and my edgy Dalton. I'm allowed to be indecisive like that.)

SPECTRE was all volcano lairs and hypnotized dolly-birds and SPACE LAAAAAAZERS. QUANTUM is, essentially, the Bond equivalent of the MCU's HYDRA. They infiltrated several governments. They don't need to take over the world because they already have all the parts they want. QUANTUM fits the Craig films' tone so much better than SPECTRE does that I really question this decision.

A second thing I'd like to note is that the Spectre teaser includes what looks like a bullet hole in glass with a black background. I've seen that somewhere before, I just know it.

But hang on, the Craig films already did the "Bond starts out as energetic and arrogant and turns into a more familiar character via the process of falling in love with a doomed girl who can act in a long-but-bothered-to-tell-a-story film with a sucker-punch aimed at book-readers" one. So they're probably not doing that.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Weekend Songs

Did you know that the two greatest love songs ever written were both released in 1969? Now you do.


Bonus: Frank Sinatra covered Something. Apparently George Harrison kept the "Jack" substitution in later performances.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

A brief review of AC/DC's new album

Which, if memory serves, was called one of the following two things:

Highway to High Rock Voltage and Roll Hell (All Night Long) (We Salute You) (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)

or

Milking the Money Cow, Volume XVI

I honestly can't remember.

Post-Craig Review: Dr. No

 Back to the very beginning. This is a lie. "The beginning" would surely be a review of Ian Fleming's 1953 novel Casino Royale...