A Cracked photoshop contest that actually made me laugh

http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_381_22-terrible-ideas-that-would-have-ruined-great-video-games_p22/#1

There, I said it.

In the "how did I miss this" category for the Mass Effect games...

So in Mass Effect 3, one of the quarians seen in the Tron ripoff mission... I mean "Geth Fighter Squadrons," of course, right...  Anyway this quarian's name is Hala'Dama.  If I must explain the joke, this is the part of the game where you learn about how the quarians created artificial intelligences (Hal) and were then driven from their homeworld (Adama). 

Other random thing that I just want to comment on all the way back from the original Mass Effect: at the end of the Virmire mission, there's a music piece called "Exit." The first part of it plays right when you have to choose whether to save Ashley or Kaidan. The very beginning of that piece starting at the 13-second mark is a sped-up version of the love theme, the first time you hear it in the game. Obviously due to the gameplay mechanics, they weren't going to have the love theme running in pre-Virmire (hell, pre-Ilos) conversations with your love interest, but it helps make this situation unique.

Stuff

Including the final political ramblings before I start my political blog.

1) I'm starting to get freaked out by the fact that a huge percentage of my (almost completely nonexistent) traffic is from Russia.  Since I'm going to be reviewing James Bond films here in the near future, I guess this means I better watch my content...

2) Veeptalk: A lot of promising candidates ("rising stars in the conservative/libertarian/Tea Party movement") are being dismissed because they're "too inexperienced."  I think these commentators have it backward.  If you're a "rising star," the last thing you'd want to do is hitch your fortunes - the remainder of what could be a long political career - to one candidate's wagon.  Just my 2 cents.

3) Massive, massive nerd alert: part of Beethoven's "Coriolan Overture" sounds a lot like the "middle eight" of the Smash Bros. Brawl theme.  I'm not even going to attempt to justify having either on my computer.

More Mass Effect Stuff

So according to this, Mass Effect 3's ending was originally even more stupider. I never thought having the lead writer leave a series would be a good thing. Watch The Trial of a Time Lord if you want to see... well, actually, nevermind, Eric Saward's departure didn't help, but it wasn't like Trial was a masterpiece to begin with.

Next question: if the Reapers built the Mass Relays in order to control our technological development, but they only attack when we reach a certain point in our technological development, aren't they kind of defeating their own agenda by giving us everything we need to reach that point in the first place? Grr argh.

Here's my fanwank theory on that. The Catalyst built the Citadel as a gigantic Mass Relay to dark space for the Reapers to use when they had to. After three or four cycles, the Reapers decided it'd be easier to set a trap for the organics since they kept creating AI anyway. So they turn the Citadel into the UN building and extrapolate Mass Relay technology from it, littering the galaxy with them so it's easier to get around. Then they make it easy for organics to unlock the secrets so that their technology will develop along the paths the Reapers desire blah blah.

 

And now if you'll permit me, here is a short list of sins Mass Effect 3 committed that are in my opinion more indefensible than its ending.

1) Recycled music. Every. Single. Side mission recycled music from either 1 or 2. Here's a short list of the most noticeable examples:

Tuchanka: Bomb - Eden Prime

Benning - "Delivering the Cure" (I played this right after Mordin snuffed it)

Noveria - Thane (I played this right after Thane snuffed it)
That Fusion Plant Level - Overlord

Grissom Academy - Arrival

Cerberus HQ - Infiltration (plays when you're in the Reaper-fetus room)

Two instances where the recycled music was acceptable:

From Ashes - Eden Prime

One cutscene in Grissom Academy - Overlord.

Weirdly, "Overlord" plays in that cutscene regardless of whether David Archer is present. Go figure.

2) Showing us the scoring mechanisms

Assigning values to each of the war assets is acceptable.  All our squadmates had "hold the line" values at the end of ME2 and that line held or didn't depending on what the average was.  But we get to see those values, which takes you out of the game just a bit.  Suddenly I'm not thinking "does Shepard care more about Grunt's squad or about the Rachni queen?" and instead I'm thinking "which one will net me more points?"

 

3) The characters are now caricatures.

This is most noticeable with Miranda.  See, her loyalty mission in 2 was all about her sister, but she was a complex character, a Defrosting Ice Queen if you will.  Now, aside from one quick conversation about wanting to put a chip in your head (a conversation you could have had back in 2), all she ever talks about is her sister. 

 

4) Shepard apparently developed amnesia between 2 and 3

Because (s)he's awfully surprised to find out (s)he spent 2 years on ice near the end.

 

5) All the romance arcs except FemShep/Garrus

Because I ship FemShep/Garrus to the moon and back.  But really, Shep/VS is kinda shot to hell in 2 and doesn't ever seem to come back with the payoff it should in 3.  As for Shep/Liara, well, you patched that up in Shadow Broker and there's not much else to do.  Tali again shows up too late in the proceedings, Thane dies on you - although that scene is fantastic whether you've romanced him or not - Jack only shows up twice, and Jacob... yeah nobody cares about Jacob. 

 

But I do love FemShep/Garrus.  The progression from squadmates to frakbuddies to lovers across three games is pretty much pitch-perfect, and it's pretty clear when the developers aren't shipping Shep/Liara, they're shipping this couple.