A friend of mine on Facebook recently published a status update that featured 26 bands in alphabetical order, one for each letter of the alphabet.
Let's see how I do with that:
AC/DC, Black Sabbath... dammit.
And every band on his list was, I presume, heavier than either band I just mentioned.
It's just a fact that pretty much every music act (with a few exceptions) that started after 1980 is more or less crap.
Now for the exceptions. Metallica (80s only), Megadeth (Peace Sells, Rust in Peace, and another album of your choice), Stevie Ray Vaughan... that is about it. No, really it is, and if you disagree with me then I'm glad you're not my neighbor and I don't have to listen to your aural bleach all day.
Again, it has to do with the change in emphasis from talent to... I'm not sure what. Radio-friendliness? Maybe. Whenever someone asks me to name the five best guitarists of all time, I have to separate that question and name the five greatest metal guitarists and the five greatest non-metal guitarists (in no particular order: David Gilmour, Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix, and insert-other-guitarist-here). Notice that three of those four are predominantly associated with Fender Stratocasters?
Anyway, I'm off topic. Disregarding punk as the hideous untalented freak show that it was, music followed a simple progression from the Beatles to Metallica, getting heavier and more complex, with better solos. Production values increased as well. As did the average bpm of the songs on an album. Unfortunately, there's only so fast you can play,* and instrumentals are fairly boring.**
*please no-one tell Chris Broderick this.
**please someone tell Satch and Vai this.
Speaking of singing and the lack thereof, thrash metal (I'm looking predominantly at Slayer here) helped to disabuse people of the notion that frontmen should actually be able to sing. Thus, despite the fact that it produced a lot of music that I like (most of it coming from American bands whose names begin with "M"), the thrash movement also, sadly, helped kill off good music forever. Wah.
Because when the concept of singing came back, it did so in the form of mass-produced pop. And despite what the top 40 says, nobody actually likes that crap.
There's a reason Led Zeppelin are often considered to be the greatest band of all time.*** It's not that Jimmy Page was an awesome guitarist (though he was/still kinda is). It's not that John Bonham was the greatest drummer ever (though he was). This was a band that went out of its way to do things differently. Punks take notice: I did not say that this was a band that went out of its way to be crap, no matter how sloppy the "Heartbreaker" solo is. This band would gleefully throw time signatures around. 5/4? Can any of you even think in 5/4?
***yeah, I said it, Beatles fans. Deal.
They straddled styles and did it with brilliance. I defy you to find a great album by another band that has blues, folk and metal (well, hard rock anyway) on it. Hell, I defy you to find a great album by anybody whose career started after 1990.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thoughts
1) Who came up with rap "music?" No, really. Who decided "hey, I can't sing at all and I'm going to make a career out of it?"
2) In a similar vein, who came up with punk music? Who decided "hey, I can't play my instrument at all and I'm going to make a career out of it?"
3) Stop listening to what he says. Look at the people he's appointed. Look at the world leaders he's supported. Look at the allies he's stabbed in the back. Obama's the most left-wing President the country's ever had, and he's earned that position in months. What's this country going to look like in 2012?
4) 2009 deaths I give a crap about: Patrick McGoohan, Andy Hallet, Les Paul. End of list.
5) If everybody chose not to drive for 24 hours, people would die. Food wouldn't get to where it was needed.
6) You can have "clean" energy, or you can have your plains and deserts unmolested and your view unobscured. You can't have both.
7) You can't have only clean energy. It's just not viable.
8) If no band/artist that hadn't released an album by 1980 were allowed to release an album after 1980, we'd a) miss out on a couple of awesome bands and b) live in a much saner world.
9) ACORN should be dismantled and every politician with ties to them should be thrown out of office. We wouldn't have a viable government anymore, but we'd be better off.
10) If the government really wants to lower the cost of anything, they should get the hell out of it.
2) In a similar vein, who came up with punk music? Who decided "hey, I can't play my instrument at all and I'm going to make a career out of it?"
3) Stop listening to what he says. Look at the people he's appointed. Look at the world leaders he's supported. Look at the allies he's stabbed in the back. Obama's the most left-wing President the country's ever had, and he's earned that position in months. What's this country going to look like in 2012?
4) 2009 deaths I give a crap about: Patrick McGoohan, Andy Hallet, Les Paul. End of list.
5) If everybody chose not to drive for 24 hours, people would die. Food wouldn't get to where it was needed.
6) You can have "clean" energy, or you can have your plains and deserts unmolested and your view unobscured. You can't have both.
7) You can't have only clean energy. It's just not viable.
8) If no band/artist that hadn't released an album by 1980 were allowed to release an album after 1980, we'd a) miss out on a couple of awesome bands and b) live in a much saner world.
9) ACORN should be dismantled and every politician with ties to them should be thrown out of office. We wouldn't have a viable government anymore, but we'd be better off.
10) If the government really wants to lower the cost of anything, they should get the hell out of it.
Monday, September 14, 2009
The top ten Iron Maiden songs
(according to me)
10. Aces High - Powerslave
9. Fear of the Dark - Fear of the Dark
8. Wasted Years - Somewhere in Time
7. The Trooper - Piece of Mind
6. 2 Minutes to Midnight - Powerslave
5. The Wicker Man - Brave New World
4. The Number of the Beast - The Number of the Beast
3. Phantom of the Opera - Iron Maiden (Yes, I am going with the version sung by Paul Di'Anno, with Dennis Stratton's Queen-esque backing vocals.)
2. Revelations - Piece of Mind (The live version from Flight 666 is also quite awesome.)
1. Hallowed be Thy Name - The Number of the Beast (Not just the greatest Iron Maiden song, but the greatest metal song. Ever.)
Songs that just didn't quite make the cut include Powerslave, Remember Tomorrow and Can I Play With Madness. Also Drifter and Die With Your Boots On are way, way underrated, but there was no way I could actually put them in a top 10 list. And no, Run To The Hills was never in the running, because it is overrated.
10. Aces High - Powerslave
9. Fear of the Dark - Fear of the Dark
8. Wasted Years - Somewhere in Time
7. The Trooper - Piece of Mind
6. 2 Minutes to Midnight - Powerslave
5. The Wicker Man - Brave New World
4. The Number of the Beast - The Number of the Beast
3. Phantom of the Opera - Iron Maiden (Yes, I am going with the version sung by Paul Di'Anno, with Dennis Stratton's Queen-esque backing vocals.)
2. Revelations - Piece of Mind (The live version from Flight 666 is also quite awesome.)
1. Hallowed be Thy Name - The Number of the Beast (Not just the greatest Iron Maiden song, but the greatest metal song. Ever.)
Songs that just didn't quite make the cut include Powerslave, Remember Tomorrow and Can I Play With Madness. Also Drifter and Die With Your Boots On are way, way underrated, but there was no way I could actually put them in a top 10 list. And no, Run To The Hills was never in the running, because it is overrated.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Dead Musicians are Better
"He's famous cos he's dead."
You've heard it before. I've heard it before in regards to:
John Bonham
Keith Moon
Cliff Burton
And probably lots of others, so I just wanna set the record straight here. John Bonham was the greatest drummer of all time. Cliff Burton was the greatest bassist of all time. End of discussion.
Keith Moon? My opinion of the Who is kind of distorted because of the fact that they're all a bunch of dicks, but he was a good drummer. Besides, the Who were collectively on the receiving end of the most epic burn in the history of music, so hey.
What was that burn? You can find the full version somewhere on Cracked.com, but here's the condensed version, complete with the jokes that I stole from that site:
See, Keith Moon and John Entwistle (bass) were at a party. So was this well-known supertalented session guitarist, who we'll just call J for now. J tells the Who guys about a band that he's putting together with a well-known supertalented session bassist/keyboardist. The band will feature some skinny long-haired hippies with tight pants and open shirts singing songs in falsetto about orcs invading Middle-Earth. The Who guys, being, as I said before, dicks, respond:
"That'll go down like a lead zeppelin." Meaning it'll crash and burn.
Our guitarist, J(immy Page), goes to practice the next day and says, "Guys! I got a name for our band!"
The Who who? All hail Led Zeppelin.
Anyway, returning to the original purpose of this rant, which is basically to get a few more digs in at a dead man (really, you think I'd be above this)...
"He's famous cos he's dead" absolutely applies to Kurt Cobain. Sorry. Again, no respect for suicides. None whatsoever. Believe me, I'd much rather he hadn't blown his brains out so he and his band could be relegated to the dust heap of music history, but because he was grunge's martyr, we're stuck with that crap now.
You've heard it before. I've heard it before in regards to:
John Bonham
Keith Moon
Cliff Burton
And probably lots of others, so I just wanna set the record straight here. John Bonham was the greatest drummer of all time. Cliff Burton was the greatest bassist of all time. End of discussion.
Keith Moon? My opinion of the Who is kind of distorted because of the fact that they're all a bunch of dicks, but he was a good drummer. Besides, the Who were collectively on the receiving end of the most epic burn in the history of music, so hey.
What was that burn? You can find the full version somewhere on Cracked.com, but here's the condensed version, complete with the jokes that I stole from that site:
See, Keith Moon and John Entwistle (bass) were at a party. So was this well-known supertalented session guitarist, who we'll just call J for now. J tells the Who guys about a band that he's putting together with a well-known supertalented session bassist/keyboardist. The band will feature some skinny long-haired hippies with tight pants and open shirts singing songs in falsetto about orcs invading Middle-Earth. The Who guys, being, as I said before, dicks, respond:
"That'll go down like a lead zeppelin." Meaning it'll crash and burn.
Our guitarist, J(immy Page), goes to practice the next day and says, "Guys! I got a name for our band!"
The Who who? All hail Led Zeppelin.
Anyway, returning to the original purpose of this rant, which is basically to get a few more digs in at a dead man (really, you think I'd be above this)...
"He's famous cos he's dead" absolutely applies to Kurt Cobain. Sorry. Again, no respect for suicides. None whatsoever. Believe me, I'd much rather he hadn't blown his brains out so he and his band could be relegated to the dust heap of music history, but because he was grunge's martyr, we're stuck with that crap now.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Guitar Hero 5's necrophilia scandal
No, I don't own it. No, I don't plan on owning it. Perusing the setlist, I come across exactly one song that I like - "2 Minutes to Midnight" by Iron Maiden.
On the one hand, I get it. "The Number of the Beast" was great on 3, and apparently there was a cover of "The Trooper" on the Xbox version of 1. But even 3, bad though its setlist was, had a couple of decent songs for every stage.
But 5's setlist is godawful. Rap "music" has no business being on a Guitar Hero game, end of discussion. Screw them and their drop-tuned "riffs" and their disgusting lyrics. Iron Maiden did themselves a disservice by letting their music get associated with this dung pile. It's not like they needed the money.
Okay, okay. "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash isn't bad. Santana, The Stones, Megadeth, Deep Purple, the Police... there are a bunch of decent artists on here. (But... are songs like "Sympathy for the Devil" and "Sweating Bullets," which are both fairly long and repetitive, going to really be that much fun? I vaguely recall there being more piano work on "Sympathy" than riffage...) And then there's Attack! Attack! Are you kidding me? They're on the same stage as Dire Straits! "Sultans of Swing!" There are a lot of B+ songs on here... and then there are a handful of truly horrible bands that go and ruin it.
Y'know who else gets a major disservice here? Kurt Cobain, and I don't even like Nirvana. I don't blame Burnt Cocaine and company for "killing" metal, because they didn't- they were just the parasite that crawled into metal's empty shell. Hell, Pearl Jam outsold Nirvana until Kurt blew his brains out. Dead musicians are better (more on that on my next post).
Anyway, Kurt's ex-wife, who we all know is the pinnacle of politeness and decency, has allowed his image to be used in the game. I don't know why they made a big deal about it. I'd be more happy to see Stevie Ray Vaughan or Randy Rhodes in the game if we're going to have a famous dead guitarist. At least these people's deaths were genuine tragedies. I don't respect suicide "victims." And I dare you to find a Cobain solo that trumps a Vaughan one.
Anyway, all of Nirvana's whiny fans got to jizz their pants when the news was announced that yes, Kurt would be in the game.
The word got out that he'd be an unlockable character. Dear God you could hear the complaints from the moon. They'll have him rapping along to Public Enemy or playing a Motley Crue song. Well you got your hero in the game, didn't you? I don't recall people bitching about the fact that you could make Slash play the bad songs in GH3! So shut up.
Also, Courtney Love is stupid for selling Kurt's body like that.
On the one hand, I get it. "The Number of the Beast" was great on 3, and apparently there was a cover of "The Trooper" on the Xbox version of 1. But even 3, bad though its setlist was, had a couple of decent songs for every stage.
But 5's setlist is godawful. Rap "music" has no business being on a Guitar Hero game, end of discussion. Screw them and their drop-tuned "riffs" and their disgusting lyrics. Iron Maiden did themselves a disservice by letting their music get associated with this dung pile. It's not like they needed the money.
Okay, okay. "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash isn't bad. Santana, The Stones, Megadeth, Deep Purple, the Police... there are a bunch of decent artists on here. (But... are songs like "Sympathy for the Devil" and "Sweating Bullets," which are both fairly long and repetitive, going to really be that much fun? I vaguely recall there being more piano work on "Sympathy" than riffage...) And then there's Attack! Attack! Are you kidding me? They're on the same stage as Dire Straits! "Sultans of Swing!" There are a lot of B+ songs on here... and then there are a handful of truly horrible bands that go and ruin it.
Y'know who else gets a major disservice here? Kurt Cobain, and I don't even like Nirvana. I don't blame Burnt Cocaine and company for "killing" metal, because they didn't- they were just the parasite that crawled into metal's empty shell. Hell, Pearl Jam outsold Nirvana until Kurt blew his brains out. Dead musicians are better (more on that on my next post).
Anyway, Kurt's ex-wife, who we all know is the pinnacle of politeness and decency, has allowed his image to be used in the game. I don't know why they made a big deal about it. I'd be more happy to see Stevie Ray Vaughan or Randy Rhodes in the game if we're going to have a famous dead guitarist. At least these people's deaths were genuine tragedies. I don't respect suicide "victims." And I dare you to find a Cobain solo that trumps a Vaughan one.
Anyway, all of Nirvana's whiny fans got to jizz their pants when the news was announced that yes, Kurt would be in the game.
The word got out that he'd be an unlockable character. Dear God you could hear the complaints from the moon. They'll have him rapping along to Public Enemy or playing a Motley Crue song. Well you got your hero in the game, didn't you? I don't recall people bitching about the fact that you could make Slash play the bad songs in GH3! So shut up.
Also, Courtney Love is stupid for selling Kurt's body like that.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The ink's rather dry on this...
...but I feel somewhat obliged, as somebody who knows a thing or two about this, to speak up. Not that anybody reads this blog.
It starts here.
The important quote is this: " it suggests prior knowledge of Ulrich’s near-sacking. But there can’t be prior knowledge of said incident, as this little factoid is not common knowledge" (emphasis mine)
Yes, it damn well is! I knew it, and I barely pay attention to anything! Specifically, I heard it here. Check the info box. It aired in April 2008. A year and a half ago.
By the way, for anybody who doesn't know what the hell I'm going on about, this might be a useful 4-minute primer.
Also regarding that article: "many fans, rightly or wrongly, think of Burton as the anti-Ulrich who would’ve ensured many more years of awesome metal, and would protect the world from Load and St. Anger and the other Load and whatever that thing that came out last year was called." I'm going to weigh in on the "wrongly" side. No disrespect to Cliff, because anyone who disrespects Cliff deserves to have all their teeth pulled out without any anesthesia (ho ho, I'm clever there, aren't I?), but the guy who insisted on wearing bell-bottoms at all times was certainly not the most "metal" member of that band. I'm not talking out of my ass here. Read Joel McIver's book To Live Is To Die: The Life and Death of Metallica's Cliff Burton and you'll know whereof I speak.
Oh, and Scott Ian has since retracted his statement. Which he apparently didn't make in the first place. So nobody's denied it yet. Scott hasn't denied telling Dave (and Anthrax opened for Metallica in 86 on the tour when Cliff died, so there's every possibility that he would know). Nobody from Metallica has addressed it. Lars did note a while back that Dave tends to slam him in the press whenever a new Megadeth album's about to come out... but again, I don't think that this was a planted question. Dave mentioned it a year and a half ago, so people knew. Apparently nobody watched Navarro's show, but Mustaine did say it.
The best argument that it didn't happen is that it didn't come up in Some Kind Of Monster. James and Lars were pretty much at each others' throats, and that entire damn movie demonstrates that the band's not above exploiting inter-band tension for financial gain.
And if it's true, so what? If Kirk, James and Lars managed not to kill each other back in 02/03, they're not going to kill each other over something that didn't come to pass 23 years ago. I wouldn't put it past Lars to own the Metallica name today, not sure if that was the case back in 86...
I'm straining myself to come up with one incident where a band fired someone they managed to part ways on good terms, and all I've come up with is Iron Maiden and Blaze Bayley. And nobody will admit to liking him. So huh.
It starts here.
The important quote is this: " it suggests prior knowledge of Ulrich’s near-sacking. But there can’t be prior knowledge of said incident, as this little factoid is not common knowledge" (emphasis mine)
Yes, it damn well is! I knew it, and I barely pay attention to anything! Specifically, I heard it here. Check the info box. It aired in April 2008. A year and a half ago.
By the way, for anybody who doesn't know what the hell I'm going on about, this might be a useful 4-minute primer.
Also regarding that article: "many fans, rightly or wrongly, think of Burton as the anti-Ulrich who would’ve ensured many more years of awesome metal, and would protect the world from Load and St. Anger and the other Load and whatever that thing that came out last year was called." I'm going to weigh in on the "wrongly" side. No disrespect to Cliff, because anyone who disrespects Cliff deserves to have all their teeth pulled out without any anesthesia (ho ho, I'm clever there, aren't I?), but the guy who insisted on wearing bell-bottoms at all times was certainly not the most "metal" member of that band. I'm not talking out of my ass here. Read Joel McIver's book To Live Is To Die: The Life and Death of Metallica's Cliff Burton and you'll know whereof I speak.
Oh, and Scott Ian has since retracted his statement. Which he apparently didn't make in the first place. So nobody's denied it yet. Scott hasn't denied telling Dave (and Anthrax opened for Metallica in 86 on the tour when Cliff died, so there's every possibility that he would know). Nobody from Metallica has addressed it. Lars did note a while back that Dave tends to slam him in the press whenever a new Megadeth album's about to come out... but again, I don't think that this was a planted question. Dave mentioned it a year and a half ago, so people knew. Apparently nobody watched Navarro's show, but Mustaine did say it.
The best argument that it didn't happen is that it didn't come up in Some Kind Of Monster. James and Lars were pretty much at each others' throats, and that entire damn movie demonstrates that the band's not above exploiting inter-band tension for financial gain.
And if it's true, so what? If Kirk, James and Lars managed not to kill each other back in 02/03, they're not going to kill each other over something that didn't come to pass 23 years ago. I wouldn't put it past Lars to own the Metallica name today, not sure if that was the case back in 86...
I'm straining myself to come up with one incident where a band fired someone they managed to part ways on good terms, and all I've come up with is Iron Maiden and Blaze Bayley. And nobody will admit to liking him. So huh.
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