As he stood in the predawn chill watching Chiggen butcher his horse...
And right off the bat we know what time it is and that it's cold. I say, concerns that this George Arr Arr Martin chap is not a concise writer may yet prove to be overblown. Anyway it's cold enough that steam rises from the horse's innards. I wonder if Tyrion is going to hop inside to keep warm. No? Wrong too-long series with glowing swords where a main character undergoes character development by way of losing a hand.
Tyrion doesn't like Dothraki customs. If this does not pay off in The Winds of Winter I shall riot. Also, one of his bodyguards, Jyck, is even more foolhardy than Jaime and even less able to tell when he's obviously doomed than Ned Stark. Ten bucks says he's dead by the end of the chapter.
We get our first hint that Catelyn's little chapter-ending trick wasn't as awesomely awesome as it pretended to be; of the fifty people in the inn, maybe a dozen drew their swords. Two of the Freys stirred and then went back to their meals. This could be some of that foreshadowing stuff I've heard about. Tyrion seems to think he'll be rescued on the road to Winterfell, and has a rather rude awakening when he realizes they're not going there at all.
For the moment, Tyrion's going through the motions of learning all his captor's names, both so that he can repeat them to his father or brother later and so that we might be goaded into thinking most of them aren't going to be corpses in the immediate future. This is a book where the first POV character didn't even survive the prologue, so I'm not sure who George thinks he's fooling.
Well, not all is lost yet, halfman. Catelyn may be the smartest Stark by a mile, but a) that's saying very little, and b) that's only true when no member of her family is being threatened. Tyrion proves that in this exchange, reprinted verbatim.
Tyrion: "Only a fool would arm a common footpad with his own blade."
Catelyn: "Why would Petyr lie to me?"
Tyrion: "Why does a bear shit in the woods? Because it is his nature. Lying comes as easily as breathing to a man like Littlefinger. You ought to know that, you of all people."
Catelyn: "And what does that mean, Lannister?"
Tyrion: "Why, every man at court has heard him tell how he took your maidenhead, my lady."
Catelyn: "That is a lie!"
Oh, so we've established that Littleprick is a liar, yes? Tyrion goes on to explain that, contrary to what Littlefinger told Catelyn vis a vis the dagger, Tyrion never bets against his brother. Pay attention to these details, Cat. They might save your life.
Ah, right, never mind.
There's a battle with one of the hill-tribes. The singer turns out to be annoying and useless, or like every videogame character that's ever been the subject of an escort mission. Tyrion kills a guy with an axe and Catelyn slits another guy's throat.
Jyck is killed (that'll be $10, please) and Bronn steals his boots. Heh. Meanwhile Tyrion gets to keep his axe in case they're ever attacked again. Say what you will about Tyrion - whoremonger, kinslayer, drunkard - the man does know how to claw his way back from nothing.
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