We're at Chataya's whorehouse, of which so much more in the next book. A guy named Heward is badly losing at a game that GRRM is badly attempting to pretend isn't strip poker. Littleprick pretends he doesn't know what kind of man Ned Stark is, and asks him if he wants to "visit" the king's whore. Sure.
He promised the girl he'd tell Robert about the baby, and this talk of bastards and promises reminds him of Lyanna and that's totally a coincidence obviously, as is the fact that he's thinking of Rhaegar a page later. We also learn that Cersei had two of Robert's bastards killed and the mother sold to a slaver. Totally not foreshadowing there.
Jaime Lannister confronts Ned, but it's raining Oh My God HBO Has Ruined It Forever They Exhausted Their Budget On Titties Instead Of Faithfully Adapting The Battle In The Rain What Is This World Coming To. Ned breaks his leg falling off a horse.
Meanwhile, off the edge of the map, Viserys Targaryen has sore feet. Because Khal Drogo won't let him ride, and that's a mark of dishonor, but I think Vichyssoise is still a clueless little git. Then he finally got to ride in a cart. And now he finally gets to ride a horse again, just in time for them to get to this city that's not a city. There are two horse statues to mark it.
Oh by the way the only reason Vissypants can ride again is because Dany learned a few more bed tricks. Women who don't have dragons have exactly one tool at their disposal in this world. Unless they're Brienne; then they have maces. But we haven't gotten to her yet. What we do get is this lovely gem, as Vissy gets pissy because Drogo hasn't given him a crown yet:
"I was promised a crown and I mean to have it. The dragon is not mocked." Spying an obscene likeness of a woman with six breasts and a ferret's head, he rode off to inspect it more closely.Yes, Your Importance, I Take You Far More Seriously Now.
Dany and Jorah discuss the fact that this guy really ain't fit to be king. Or, really, a stable-sweeper, a point Dany makes. I'm starting to like her. Which means I'm starting to like these random diversions to the middle of nowhere. Or at least, I like them considerably more than the random diversions to Bran Stark, or the random diversions to Jon Snow before Ygritte shows up.
The crones that rule this barbaric, vaguely nomadic society (yeah, roll with it) have prophesied that one day all the khalasars will return at once to the city, which might explain why it's so big and so deserted. Anyway Drogo has to go off and climb the mountain to make the proper sacrifice to the disfigured priests that live atop it oh wait wrong bloodthirsty culture adapted into a sex-laden thing with Lena Heady in it. But he does have to go climb the mountain, so Dany tries to patch things up with her brother.
Unfortunately, the whore she sends to Viserys apparently makes a translation error, or Vichy was drunk, or it was Tuesday, but whatever the reason he shows up all angry and then she hits him. And then he storms off in a huff and she gets upset because, well, a) she's kind of inured to the abuse, and b) he's the only family she's got and that really sucks for her.
And then she dreams of home. The house with the red door? Or the cold iron chair she's never seen?
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