Sunday, October 27, 2013

Who Review: The Reign of Terror

...is phenomenally stupid, overcomplicated, padded, and schizophrenic.  Oh, and the animation on the two missing episodes for the DVD release is nothing to write home about.

So it's the Bloody French Revolution.  At this point in the series's history, we have to split everyone up, so the Doctor is knocked unconscious and Ian is locked in a separate cell from Susan and Barbara.  But he is locked in a cell with a guy who tells him to get in touch with a British spy named James Stirling, because Ian looks English and must therefore be a counter-revolutionary.

Stirling is undercover as Lemaitre, an official of some sort whose role is never clearly defined (he gets face-time with Robespierre but spends all the rest of his time hanging out in a prison, which already has a jailer), which is supposed to be a surprise, but a) Lemaitre is the only candidate, and b) Lemaitre's actions don't quite square with his "official" story, so something is clearly up. I will give the serial very reluctant credit for taking the usual "coincidence-driven escape" - that is, where Lemaitre, long before the reveal that he's Stirling, calls to the jailer to distract him at a crucial moment - and eventually using it as prove that Lemaitre is a good guy.

Anyway, Lemaitre/Stirling lets Ian go, ostensibly to track him and find out where Jailbreak Inc is headquartered.  In reality, he needs to know if Ian is against the Revolution before he helps him. Meanwhile, the folks at Jailbreak Inc have their own problem. Their names are Jules, Jean and Leon, and unfortunately Leon is the one who turns out to be a mole, so don't expect me to waste time telling Jules and Jean apart.

Meanwhile, the Doctor wastes one episode walking to Paris and getting waylaid by a work party, and another episode playing dress-up.  "Hello, my good sir, would you please give me that sash of office on the wall there, as well as a paper and pen with which I can forge my credentials? Thank you." Amazingly, the shopkeeper actually has a brain between his ears, but the person he tells is Lemaitre, who takes the Doctor to see Robespierre for, um, no discernible reason. 

You'll excuse me for skipping over the "exciting" part of the plot - that would be in the missing episodes, and I was distracted by the gratuitous crotch-shots the animators decided to give us. No, I am not making this up. Rather than attempt to recreate the shots as they existed in the original episodes, the animators decide to do basically everything in close-ups. And when characters sit down, for whatever reason we're treated to a close-up of a pelvis dropping into a chair.

The plot gets even dumber in Episode Six. Since Episode Five ends with the Doctor and Lemaitre dropping in on Jailbreak, Inc, and Episode Six begins with Lemaitre revealing that, yes, he is Stirling, you would think the story was over. No. Instead we have a pointless excursion to an inn so that somebody's cousin can put "Napoleon" on his C.V.  At least, that's the only reason I can think for it.

You cannot do Jeu des Trônes on a BBC budget. And, by the way, if you're going to try, you could at least make the filler as interesting as this.

Four out of ten. Three out of ten for the reconstructed version and its stupid animation.

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